happy happy friday!

things that make me happy today
1. Hearing J's voice at 2am.
2. Hopping onto the Metro train just before the doors close
3. Wearing my rain boots (I'll post a picture, I think they would make you happy too)
4. Getting off work early
5. No longer being a bridesmaid!!!

busy busy

This has been such a busy week. All the days seem to run together. And it's not over yet. Tomorrow we sign our lease and start moving some of our stuff out of here. I hope that it goes smoothly.

I'm so tired but I feel like there is still unwinding that needs to be done. I think I can now definitely say I know what it's like to be a bridesmaid. All evening we had to get our picture taken and then while everyone was enjoying the show, we had to do all the behind-the-scenes stuff, so in other words, we did not get to watch the movie. I did get to play bride for about 5 minutes and toss the bouquet. That was really weird. I didn't get much air on the sucker, but I'll do better next time.

I had a lot of fun with the girls that I worked the promo with. We bonded. The experience brought us pretty close and we already have our reunion scheduled for next week when we get to go and watch a second free screening of the movie.

I'm glad that my bridesmaid duties are over. Perhaps in a few years I'll be ready to do it all over again. We'll see.

so, this is what being a bridesmaid is like...

None of my close friends has gotten married (I guess they'd have to be engaged first) yet, but I think I already know what it's like to be a bridesmaid. "Be here at this time" and "Wear this." I've done this gig for 3 days now and I'm beat. I guess working the promo on top of my job makes for a long day. 2 days left. Thursday is the big show.

I just got an email with pictures of the dresses. I see three dresses and one of them is kind of ugly. I hope I don't get that one, but I probably will. I know I'm not fat, but I feel like I need to starve myself for this dress. Being at the ballet academy yesterday didn't help. I really shouldn't go there anymore. It is just depressing.

my bad...

I went to the ballet academy today to have dinner with my old mentee. I thought I'd bring a pizza since the food is usually not that great. Well... they not only re-did the entire cafeteria, they also hired a new chef! So, I basically insulted him on his first day. The food really did look quite tasty. I'm impressed, but my giant pizza box was not a pleasant gesture by any means.

I think I ate too much pizza... I feel gross. And to tie a nice bow onto this fiasco, I think I ran a redlight on my way home. I saw those camera flashes. I hope the ticket isn't too much... Ugh... I should never go back to that place again...

Happy New Year!

Welcome to 2008!

I worked a promo this weekend where I was wandering around DC wearing a bright pink sweatshirt and a veil. I was promoting the movie "27 Dresses". The sweatshirt said "Always a bridesmaid, never a bride" on the back. It was fun. I'm doing it for 2 more days and then on Thursday, I will be wearing a dress for the movie screening. I got to peruse some shops and also hang out in the Origins store playing with the moisturizer and the makeup. I'll try to post some pictures later, perhaps.



We move in less than a week!!! It's crazy. Hopefully it won't be too bad. Hopefully, we'll have lots of people come to help. :)

On Saturday, Mike stopped by. We got to catch up a bit since he's been in Texas and hasn't blogged in awhile. Not that I have either. After Mike left, E and Pierre came by and we made omelets and strawberry pancakes for dinner. These are some of my favorite people lately. It's just always really chill hanging out with them and there's no pressure to look cute or cater to them (not that I'm very good at that anyway).

An interesting topic came up in a chat with Pierre and E. We were talking about American men and how they don't really know how to express their feelings. They don't know how to show a girl that they love her. In some other cultures (French, Spanish, Latin in general) men are so much more passionate and wear their hearts on their sleeves. It might be the influence of the culture, how they live life, the music they listen to, the things they eat, etc. I think a lot of times, American girls have low expectations for men. So, if a girl encounters a nice guy who does something even slightly above and beyond, she is convinced that a guy must love her. Hahaha. I'm not that easy to impress. I don't think Asian cultures are overtly romantic. It's more subtle and maybe marriage isn't even based on love. Regardless, a man really has to be consistent to win my affections. I know there is room to expand on this, but I'm at work...

back to my senses

I bought the Chris Brown tickets... because I'm an idiot. And now, I'm going to try to sell them. I'm done obsessing, or at least I hope. Something took over my brain and nobody talked me out of it! Nobody had the right words to convince me of my stupidity. I already needed the intervention when I was writing that last blog.

I realized that there are other things I can spend my money that would make me 10 times more happy than watching an 18 year old sing and gyrate. Yeah... he gyrated. And I liked it, but I've moved on. I still have to sell those tickets though... so, if you know anyone with $200 that loves Chris Brown...

chris brown again

So, Chris Brown will be in town again next month. I really want to go. Like I said, I did not get enough the first time. Tickets go on sale in an hour.
The problem is:
1. I don't have anyone to go with since my best Chris Brown fan is broke.
2. I really shouldn't overextend my funds in this way.

I don't know why I'm so obsessed. I don't think this is out of hand yet, but maybe after this concert (if I actually go), I will need some intervention. Yeah.

because you're worth it...

One of my friends received a mini cooper convertible for Christmas from her boyfriend. She's been wanting one and saving up for awhile now, so I am certain the gift means a lot to her.

Of course I was thrilled for her, but I could not accept a gift like that from a boyfriend, even if I knew we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. I guess a gift like that does not seem justified to me. I've always felt this way about gifts (though I have never received a gift on that level nor have any aspiration to). I've forced more than one gift to be returned. I am not sure why. Perhaps I don't feel as if I am deserving.

E and I were talking about that tonight. Not pertaining to gifts exactly, but about being deserving in relationships. She has a wonderful man in her life who simply adores her and has gone to great lengths to treat her like a queen. She is a great person in so many ways and I think that her guy is really lucky, yet somehow she feels undeserving. I know I've felt this way before, but I got over it. I think F feels this way sometimes too and I am not sure why some girls can't accept the love, attention, devotion, etc. that is lavished upon them. Is it insecurity? low self-esteem? hurt from past relationships? It is probably a combination of all those things and then some. How do we overcome these issues? What does a man have to do to make a girl feel as if she is worthy of his love and affection?

Anyway... on another note, I'd like to modify my recent comments on Katie Holmes. She is starring in a new comedy with Diane Keaton and Queen Latifah. She's bringing some spunk and the movie looks kinda funny. It is definitely not a role I would ever imagine her in and it is not a side of her we see in the tabloids either. Yeah, so I have been pleasantly surprised. Go Mrs. Tom Cruise!

chris brown

I took KW to dinner and then the Chris Brown concert last night for her birthday. Unlike the R. Kelly concert, I was not quite satisfied. I didn't get enough of that 18 year old. He did sing my favorite song from his latest CD though. That was quite the performance... yeah.

When we first got there, we saw a bunch of teeny-boppers. It was overwhelming. We were surrounded. They had all these glow stick and light twirly things and of course the requisite screaming and pandemonium (which we admittedly joined in on when Chris came out... but we weren't as continuous). The concert started at 7:30 with Sean Kingston, and all those horrible Soulja Boy(s), Pet Shop Boys, and then Bow Wow. We didn't really know very many of the songs that they performed. Needless to say, our ripe old age of 25 was showing. That Soulja Boy is so disgusting. He humped the stage and it was NOT sexy in the least. He's a twig and he had these HUGE green balloon pants that he could barely keep on. Ick.

Chris came out around 10 and put on an outstanding performance. I won't go into detail because KW went into a lot of detail with her boyfriend and his panties got in a bunch. So, I think I'll just say that young Chris is in his prime now.

unreal

What happened to the sarcastic, witty, and real Joey from Dawson's Creek that we all knew and loved? I like babies and cookies too, but I'd like to keep my identity. How and when do women once so awe-inspiring become so boring and vomit-worthy? Is this what men do to women? Is this what men want? She is stunning and I'm sure she's a great wife and mother, but I don't think she'll ever be anything else not if she stays with Tom anyway. This was her dream come true and Tom Cruise was her perfect knight in shining armor. She's just a trophy wife now, I guess. It's almost a disgrace. She should not be allowed to talk to the media, just photographed. This is just embarassing.

All I can think is that Tom Cruise is a sick, sick man to accept a woman like that.

shoe power

i'm wearing my new shoes today. big mistake. i just got here and i already have a blister on my pinky toe and i can feel one forming on the ball of my other foot.

it's not even a high heel. i don't know what has happened to me. i used to wear stilettos twice this high traipsing all through Boston. now i'm in pain over some 2-inch wedges!

anyway, it's amazing how two inches can make you feel so different. i usually wear flats, loafer-type shoes, or sneakers to work, so these shoes exaggerate my already seductive strut (hahahaha). Here is a conversation that ensued as i walked past (don't be jealous, J).

guy 1: There's a sexy little Chinese girl here
guy 2: Yeah, I saw her walk by

i don't know if they were talking so that i would overhear or if they were dense. i just pretended to not pay them any attention. but yeah... this is the power of shoes (until my strut turns into a hobble, of course).

charlie

The world lost an incredible man this past Sunday. He was the principal of the school that I worked at in Boston, but to many others, he was so much more. He touched the lives of everyone he encountered in a meaningful way.

I still remember the first time I met him. He made me fall in love with the school. I knew that with a man like him as its leader, the school undoubtedly had to be a success and I longed to be a part of it. He gave me an indescribable sense of hope because of his dedication. He screened me like I was going to be entrusted with his children, in his heart that was what he was doing, yet still found a way to connect with me and make me feel special. He had a way about him, all the right things to say: words of encouragement, words of comfort, words of discipline. And listeners valued and took to heart every single word.

I know many stand in awe of Charlie, yet he was always so humble. He always saw the best in those around him and not only that, he saw all the potential as well. He truly made a difference in the lives of others and I know every one of those kids that went to that school loved him. Charlie was no ordinary man.

article from the Boston Globe

JO knows

Yesterday, we had a farewell lunch for Jefe. It was rather uneventful and three times longer than my usual lunch break, but whatever.

I just had to make note of what JO ate. This was kind of my biggest intrigue going into the restaurant. What does JO eat? I know he keeps things like pretzels and oatmeal bars in his desk, but I've never seen him eat lunch.
So... for lunch he ordered... drumroll please...

Hummus. It came with pita bread and a couple carrot sticks.

Kinda weird, eh? Is that enough sustenance? Or maybe Americans eat waaaay too much. Yeah, I think that might actually be it. I'm going to stop overeating... or at least curb the habit a little. It doesn't really feel good to eat such large portions, y'know? Yep, JO knows all and I hope he has more knowledge to impart on me.

is it wrong?

I got an A on my class presentation, make that a 192/200. I got 196/200 on my paper, so the 192 was a bit of a letdown. I thought the presentation went well and I suppose my grade indicates as much, but the comment she had about my presentation was that my "style was a bit informal." I was acting out different things, using my usual hand gestures and language.

I guess it was true to who I am. My voice and style doesn't really rise to a formal tone in any certain situation. I prefer to keep things low-key and casual, fun, if you will. :) This isn't true just for presentations. I'm even this way when talking to God. It's very casual. I don't pull out fancy vocabulary or elaborate metaphors. I just talk to him in the same way I talk to anyone else. It's more comfortable that way, when you don't have to worry about what you're saying.

I know there are people out there that are very good at accomodating to various situations, I'm not one of them. Perhaps this is something to work on. Is this a part of growing? Role-playing? I don't think I was too gifted with this as a kid not am I comfortable with it now. Hmm... :(

Yesterday was my last class of the semester. We had dinner as a class and it was alright, I suppose. There are some individuals in the class who I thought were great and truly enjoyed, but then there were some that I found really annoying and for no particular reason. I was sitting next to and across from two of those people last night. I engaged them in conversation and asked them questions about themselves, but I couldn't shake the contempt that I felt for them from my mind. That's evil, isn't it? Even though I don't really like them, I still have a curiousity about them. Is that strange? Being intrigued by people you dislike... ?? Maybe I am trying to find reasons to like them or perhaps reasons to support my dislike. Hmm... yeah, maybe that's it.

So, these are some of my personal quandaries. Is it just me or does someone else get what I'm saying?

i'm curious

Ok, let's say you're in a public restroom and you just made stink. Maybe you're at the sink washing your hands when someone walks in. They are reaching for the handle of the stall that you just came out of. Would you warn them? Why or why not? What would you do? What would you want someone else to do, if the roles were reversed?

What do you do when you go into a stall that stinks and the person who just came out of it is still in the restroom and can see you leave the stall? Is that an insult?

Hahahaha... let me know.

late night

"Fords, Hondas, Chevys, Beemers and minivans. Over 600 cars, trucks, SUVs, are you listening, man? At Eastern Motors, your jobs your credit..."

This would be my celebratory song and dance after finishing my paper, courtesy of my brother. After we finished singing he said, "You sing AWESOME!" (I had asked him if he thought I was a good singer... kind of today's theme, which I'll have to get to later).I think the Eastern Motors commercial is a DC Metro area thing along with the "Kiss my bumper" guy. Does anyone remember that?

E got a new car recently. Not from Eastern Motors. Hers is actually new and a hybrid to boot!

Anyway... I'm excited about finishing my final. I turn it in tomorrow at class, which is being held at a brewery. Not really an official class, you can assume.

I feel like I've had lots of thoughts to blog today, but they might have to wait for another time. Don't worry, they'll come soon. I have drafts to job my memory. :)

crazy love...

Hi. I'm HT and I'm a romantic.

For awhile, I didn't think I would ever do the boyfriend/girlfriend thing. Beyond all rationalization, I just thought that some wonderful man was going to turn to me one day and propose, perhaps from friend to fiance. I also always believed that when I met the man that I would spend the rest of my life with, I would know it instantaneously. I believed that there would be butterflies and fireworks; that things would just click and there would be magic.

The first time I met J was not like that. I don't remember when I met J. I know it was at Wake Forest and through our mutual friend Billiam, but I didn't even remember J as having a personality. I'm still not convinced that he had one until we graduated.

When I met J the second time, it went a little differently, but I won't go into that right now.

Love is supposed to be easy and for me one kiss can tell you whether someone is right for you as well as determine the course of an entire relationship. I believe that true love sustains itself and in my ideal relationship, the butterflies are always there and looking at that person always feels like the first time. I think loving is about compromising on standards that you thought were set in stone and being changed by another person. And though I've decieved myself in the past, I believe with all my heart that "sometimes you just know."

"If you wanna know, if he loves you so. It's in his kiss."

Set games and platonic relationships

So, let me tell you what my life has come to...

I am now having daily Set competitions with Mike. We do the daily puzzle and compare our times. It's definitely a way to make work a little more interesting. So, all the way from Philly, Mike is keeping me entertained. Mike doesn't do anything all day and I'm just bored, so I guess it makes sense. He's keeping track of our times supposedly, so I will spare you the details in my blog.

The other day, F was reading Mike's blog and she asked me why Mike and I never dated. First of all, we've each had long-term hookups with each other's friends BEFORE we even really knew each other, so there is a certain level of discretion that has already been breached. Second of all, I don't think we would have cute children. So really, what's the point? Anyway, this got me thinking about platonic relationships.

I'm not sure what it takes to to have close platonic (free from sexual desire, in case that was unclear for anyone) male friends. For most, in order to have a successful platonic relationship with someone, it requires for one of the parties to be in a non-platonic relationship with someone else, so perhaps that is a contributing factor. I guess I am just mindful of boundaries and cognizant of what I want out of a relationship. I think about the big picture and realize that in the grand scheme of things, certain individuals are only meant to be friends and that the friendship is more valuable to me than one too many drinks leading to an awkward morning after or something to that effect, ultimately jeopardizing the friendship.

Purely platonic guy friends are hard to come by because 1) they have probably had thoughts of getting into your pants 2) you have sought them for the comfort that only the opposite sex can provide and 3) people lose better judgement when they are lonely, horny, drunk,or tired.

We need those friends of the opposite sex. They give you something that same sex friendships can't provide (and same-sex friendships give you something that opposite-sex friendships can't provide as well!), such as reassurance about what a great catch you are and insight into the psyche of the opposite sex. It's just a different type of exchange that I think has been very healthy for me and I think others as well. I'd like to think my guy friends (or at least Mike) enjoy my company and think that I have more to offer as a friend than as a hookup. Maybe it's not for everyone. *shrug* Maybe we just need to go into relationships with boundaries already defined so that we don't deal with the drama of confusion and mixed signals. Maybe we should just forget relationships entirely and just have daily set competitions. Any other ideas?

oh nuts...

I'm thinking about nuts today.

I just had to google walnuts and pecans because I forgot what makes them different from one another. I don't really like walnuts all that much, nor pecans. I think walnuts are just ugly pecans, not that pecans are that pretty.

My favorite nuts are actually brazil nuts, but they aren't that popular because nobody does anything special with 'em. They are beauts though, in and out of the shell. The flesh is so smooth and the shell is real tough with a bark-like texture that is such an inviting brown color. Anyway...

Walnuts are famous in brownies. Pecans are good for pecan praline ice cream and pecan sandies. Almonds are used with just about everything. Macademia nuts are usually covered in chocolate and popular because of Hawaiians. Pistachios are good for ice cream (Ben and Jerry's Pistachio, Pistachio is great... though I spit out the actual nuts). And Peanuts... well, I don't even need to talk about peanuts.

Chestnuts are good too. Mmm... especially roasted. We used to have a chestnut tree in front of our house. Mmm... they aren't really your typical nut though, are they?

What was my point?

backburner

Why is it that there are some guys (perhaps girls do it too, but I've no examples at the moment) out there that think they can keep you waiting on the backburner forever? At least two if not three of my nearest and dearest are/were in this situation and I've experienced it myself. I think a lot of times the guys aren't ready or maybe there are times when we're the ones who are not ready. So maybe there are huge issues with timing. It's been said on many occasions, "If me and X ever get back together, it's over (as in, we're getting married - game over)."

As much as we want to hold on to our ideals of the happy ending with our "first love" there comes a time when you have to move on. You think you'll never love anyone the way you love X and though that might be true, new love that comes along can be just as good and even more fulfilling. These new people know what they want (namely you... and isn't it amazing to be wanted in that way?) and go to inconceivable lengths to attain it while making it so organic and easy at the same time. They persist, they flirt, they woo you and sweep you off your feet. They break your "rules" and they win your heart. And what a relief to not be left guessing someone's feelings, thoughts, or intentions!

I think the backburner guys think they have the upper-hand on any new guy that comes along. And in some ways they do. They have history, comfort, and of course all the emotions on their side. They had you once and they think that they can have you again, but as the stress, pain, and anguish stack up, you realize that you going back to them requires a lot more from them than they are capable of investing. And maybe it is circumstances beyond their control that are keeping them from pursuing you, but waiting for the grand gesture is exhausting. When something new comes along, something simple and untainted with any of the heartache, it's like coming alive again. And maybe that's when we discover that on the backburner isn't where we want to be nor is it a place we ever belonged.

winter apparel

As the weather has gotten colder, I've wondered to myself what JO was going to wear to keep warm. He had been wearing a trench coat for a little while now, but I knew a trench would not suffice through the winter. I hypothesized that he would have a dark wool coat. And today, my hypothesis was confirmed.

He commented that his coat is older than I am. It's still in good shape though. I'm always excited to see new items in JO's wardrobe. It really is a uniform. Maybe I should have a work uniform too. It would make things so much easier. I could employ similar layering techniques as JO as well. Turtleneck, dress shirt, sweater... trench or wool coat. Pants, belt, shoes.

I asked JO today if he wore a hat. And he said, "I suppose I should, but that's just another thing to lose." I told him how I lost my glove and he was so genuinely concerned. I told him I got it back and he told me I was lucky. I'd buy a hat for JO, but what kind of hat would he wear? Maybe Sherlock Holmes style hat? Do they make those anymore?

good things for good people

My roomie is in LOVE! That's right folks, Ms. Independent-I-Wanna-Live-in-Japan-I-Don't-Need-to-Live-with-my-Husband-I-Don't-Believe-That-Love-Can-Last is in love. She's so smitten. She said, "I was up at 4am and excited about it because of him." It's enough to bring a tear to my eye. My flirtatious, fickle roomie is naming babies with the best of 'em now. Hahahaha.

And, I'd like for her to eat her words... all of them, but I know she won't, only some of them. Don't think I was unaware of your doubts and skepticism, Miss! I'm glad you got bit by the love bug. And I'm so happy that you're experiencing all these feelings. I'll find someone else for MM, maybe someone who's reading this. Any takers?

I passed along a friend's resume to my supervisor this week and guess what? She got the job! I am excited to be working with someone I know. And I'm excited that she's getting a better-paying job because I think she deserves it. It's about time! I hope she doesn't regret taking the job though because it's not always loads of fun. Um... yeah, it can be pretty boring. Working with me, however, easily anyone's dream. :)

"Let's go have that wreckless love, that love crazy, that off the wall won't stop 'til I get enough kind of love" - Alicia Keys

I love Fridays!!!

1. I found my glove! It was sitting on the security person's podium. Eureka!

2. J is back from nabbing bad guys (or, so I believe...) and we had some IM love (nothing dirty... though I'm sure he would have liked that).

3. I see P and N today!

fascinating books

Today I came across a book of pet names. It listed pet names alphabetically and by sex. The first two sentences of the introduction follow.

How does one choose a name for a pet?

Some people like to choose a name based on the physical characteristics of the pet - "Spot," or "Whitey," or "Stubby."

I can't believe this was published. So ridiculous.

foiled again

I wanted to flush out my system today because I have not been putting good things into my body. I had some cereal this morning, a sandwich at lunch (definitely nowhere near the typical amount of food consumed at work) and TONS of water. I decided that I could use some more calories, so I picked up some cookies. Uncle Al's Duplex Cremes, $1 from the vending machine. When I had three cookies left, I checked the nutrition facts.

Serving Size: 3 cookies
Servings Per Container: About 5
Total Fat: 4.5 grams

Jinkies!!! That comes out to be about 20 grams of fat. Ewwwww... so much for flushing out my system.

one glove

I think someone needs to be reflecting my face back to me at all times because I know I look at people and think horrible things in my head like "When is he going to get to a point?" or "He's really dorky." I hope my thoughts don't read on my face, but from what I've heard, they do. I will never be able to play poker.

Anyway, perhaps I'm just feeling mean and bitter because my morning got off to a not great start. I lost my glove. And I even realized it within 30 seconds of its absence, but I couldn't get it back. Elevators and crowded streets are nowhere to take off your gloves. I spent about 15 minutes waiting for the elevator I rode in to come back up to the 5th floor so that I could search for my glove. *sigh*

The last time I lost a glove was in New York City, either in a crowded department store or on the street. I will have to look for deeper pockets in my next coat, but first I'll need a new pair of gloves.

what would i do without MM?

This past weekend, ok... this past week, I was PMS-ing hardcore. I was shoving sweets in my face and crying like it was my job. I did not know what I was going to do with myself. I don't want to be a constant basketcase for roomie to deal with, so I resorted to sobbing in my bed for a few hours on Saturday. Then I napped.

Thankfully, MM called and saved me. He knew something was up.

"What's wrong?" (in that deep, stern voice of his)

I don't really remember if I said I had been crying or if there was nothing wrong. Either way, it came out that I was a miserable mess.

"I've never seen you show emotions. You're the Ice Queen."

MM... you're right! I am the Ice Queen. He made me feel like my old self again. He then drove from Richmond to hang out with me. I love MM.

When he left he said "Don't cry anymore."

And for the most part, I've stopped. When MM gives orders, I listen.

sitcom star

JO always jokes that work is like a low-grade sitcom.

"Don't delude yourself, HT. You're one of the stars."

Hahaha.

I hate talking to people from work outside of work. Well, no, I take that back. I don't mind with the girl that's around my age, but I hardly ever see her. So, instead of walking and chatting with co-workers or Jefe, I tend to lag behind or take a different route. Is that crazy? I hate small talk. It's ok at work, but outside of it, there's something awkward about it to me. I'll work on it, maybe.

R. Kelly

I went to see R. Kelly this past Sunday. Yeah. I love R. Kelly. It wasn't the best concert that I've been to, but it was exciting to hear all those songs live. I'll be back to see him again.

I could definitely get it on during an R. Kelly concert. Yeah.

"I don't see nothing wrong..."

red beanie man

I was walking behind this skinny guy wearing a red beanie. He was reading a book or something while as he is walking. He wasn't paying attention and walked smack into a pole. Hahaha... that gave me my morning chuckle.

chair dancing at work

Chair dancing to "freek-a-leek"... might not be the most professional look.

weeds

weeding... it's a necessary task. in gardens. in libraries. so, i'm thinking that it needs to be employed in relationships. weeds are simply taking up space. they don't provide anything to sustain a relationship. they are essentially a nuisance and they can also stifle the growth of other relationships and make things ugly.

so, yeah. where's my hoe?

it's not the first time this has been said about me...

I was in a really bad mood this morning. I couldn't get dressed and I felt all around grouchy.

So, I finally get my arse to work and I don't really talk to anyone. At the end of the day, JO comes up to me and says, "See you tomorrow HT."

I say bye, but then we somehow engage in a conversation and he says, "You didn't say a word to me all day, I thought you were mad at me."

I told him that I was feeling grouchy and avoided people for the most part.

Jefe then jumped in and said, "I look forward to seeing you every day. You're always so cheery. I wouldn't have guessed that you were cranky."

I had no idea that Jefe felt this way. Apparently, I AM a burst of sunshine. :)

mikes here

soooo mikes here. he left philly at 1pm, its now 7pm, he just arrived. he told me there was a car accident on 95 that blocked off all the lanes. not just 95 but 695. maybe you heard of this accident. or maybe you were stuck in traffic with me. (this is mike writing, not HT) so when i finally beat the traffic by taking 40 (pulaski highway), i see my good friend kevin horrigans brother. we make eye contact, and we meet up at the next exit. we sit and talk about iraq, life as an aide, and then he tells me his wife is in labor as we speak. and i go "i know shes pregnant." and he says, "no, her water just broke." so i'm thinking good thing you're talking to me right now.

anyways, so now HT is telling me you're not supposed to double space after a period, i think thats horse shit. so what about after a colon, do you not double space then?

i dont know what else to write. i'm on my way down to richmond to visit my friend luke. we're going to get drunk.

thats it

Mike

"you can't rome without caesar"
-kanye

friends and lovers...

What would you do if your family and friends did not like your significant other?

I know this is not a wholly uncommon dilemma, but imagine your love interest being the butt of everyone's jokes or perhaps everyone telling you that he or she isn't good enough, cute enough, or interesting enough. If your friends and family all feel the same way about someone, it is perhaps worthwhile to examine why you are with that person.

Relationships are deep and personal matters and no outsider can fully understand the inner-workings of another couple's relationship, so that alone is reason enough to rebuff someone else's opinion. However, you must also consider that those people are the very ones that do want the best for you and want to see you happy.

A relationship needs to be supported by friends and family because if it is taken to the level of marriage, the families will be coming together and that harmony lends to the success of the union (though, I suppose they could have the us against the world mentality... but I'm sure that gets awful lonely). Also, there are some things that a couple can't handle on their own. Each individual needs outside forces to bolster him or her in order for a relationship to endure. It is not helpful if outside influences try to tear you down or dissuade you from your happiness or worse sabotage your relationship (ok, that's an extreme... but I'm sure it's happened).

What do you do when you have a friend who's dating someone that isn't good enough for them? How do you go about expressing your opinion? It is a dangerous line to straddle. And if they get married, you're stuck! And then doesn't that eventually cause a demise of your friendship? This is one of many reasons why I'm trying to hook up one of my good friends with my roomie (yeah... I'm putting it in the blogosphere... how you like that?). Hahaha.

The only time someone didn't like me was during my high school relationship. His mom had some outrageous opinions. I did not like her nor was I trying to be a brown-noser. To this day, I have no idea why she didn't like me, not that I made a huge effort. Her dislike for me wasn't completely overt, but I got the sense. *shrug* Oh well, her son will never have a girl cuter than me. :) Perhaps she thought her son wasn't cute enough for me! Hahaha. Things worked out for the best in EVERY way (though I regret the wasted time). So, maybe you should listen to your mom, or sister, or best friend - that is, if they are willing to tell you the truth (and by the way, why didn't someone tell me he wasn't cute enough for me?!)

"You need a girl that's A-list, not one that just barely made it on a list" - Kanye West

NG quit

He got a job in Winchester. And we had just so recently bonded over Asbestos Awareness.

Oh! Jefe is leaving in a month! Sad times. I was really interested in his dating adventures.

*sigh*

At least I still have JO (though he made a terrible joke on Friday that I am still not comfortable with... nothing nasty, gutterbrains!).

Revisiting RRs

I was thinking today, I don't even know what makes an acceptable Asian. Is there a code of conduct? vocabulary? costume?

Yeah, I know to take my shoes off when coming in the house, but aside from that I have no clue. What rules am I breaking? What rules am I breaking that are purely a function of my personality? Does anybody know the rules?!

new relationships

Today NG came back from lunch with a box and said, "I shouldn't have gotten this." Intrigued, I asked him what it was. He opened the box and showed me...

a slice of pizza.

Yeah, not that interesting, but I was touched that he displayed such enthusiasm. It takes our relationship to a new level.

Jefe has a new friend. Well, maybe it's an old friend, but regardless, B pointed out to me that they are body doubles. That would mean round and of average-height - stocky, if you will. I've also been meaning to mention that Jefe's love life has picked up. I'm happy for him. It puts a little pep in his step.

NNG

That's New New Guy, if you weren't following. He showed up today. I'm unimpressed. He looks super nerdy. He makes B look good, which is sad. I didn't interact with him a whole lot because I only worked a few hours today. Meh.

Finally gave my presentation for class. Yay... it's all gravy until the final. :)

drowning in my own sweat

I went to my first Bikram Yoga class yesterday. When the doors finally opened, out came a man wearing just shorts and sporting a porno patch of hair on his chest. Sweat was beading up all over his back and down his chest. I was not enthused about all that perspiration.

I don't know what the temperature was in that room, but I started sweating within about 5 minutes of sitting in there and this was before the class began. During most of the class, you're supposed to focus on yourself in the mirror. For the first 30 minutes, I had a nice flush to my cheeks and I thought I was looking pretty cute. In another 10 minutes, my hair was all over the place, sticking up in about 17 million different directions and my entire face was red - red like it's never been in my life. I don't get Asian glow when I drink, so I certainly didn't expect this shade of crimson.

It was intense. My shirt and sports bra from last night have still not dried. They were soaked.

Throughout the entire class, I kept thinking, "I'm not going to make it" and "I'm not coming back." I survived the entire class though and I am going back sometime this week. They say you should try to go at least twice. Whew... I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

you are who you hang out with?

Do you ever find yourself being a different person around different people? Do you feel more fun around certain friends and then a wallflower with others?

When it comes to hanging out with people, I wonder if we choose them based on how they make us feel or perhaps how they engage us. If we feel comfortable with them, then we probably don't mind hanging out with them whenever. If we feel bored or boring around them, then we probably don't want to hang out with them at all. I think it might also have to do with how the individual perceives you, which in turn affects how they treat you. When someone holds you in a certain regard and actively seeks your opinion, you feel that you matter. Knowing that you matter to someone on some level can be a foundation for friendships.

You notice how you only do certain things with certain friends. Just like there are foods that you only eat with certain people and there are places you only go with certain people. Even topics of conversation vary based on who you are hanging out with.

Ok... that's all I got.

hashbrowns

I got hashbrowns today. When I ordered, I asked the lady for one, not knowing that they came in pairs. There was a man next to me and he jumped in and said, "I'll take the other one!" I sort of chuckled at him, knowing full well that I was not about to give him my other hashbrown. He obviously didn't know who I was, nor the fact that eating is one of my hobbies.

So, I went and paid for my two hashbrowns and was about to make my exit. And the man stops me in my tracks and said, "I'm waiting. I'll take that hashbrown now."

Excuse me...

I could NOT believe that he was badgering me for my hashbrown. A stranger! I told him that I intended to eat both of them and left.

What was the man thinking? Sheesh, mister.

will you be my grandpa?

Today JO and NG were attempting to photocopy something. I was at my computer and JO comes to my desk and explains that only blank pages were coming out. So, being the copy saavy girl that I am, I went to assist.

Long story short, I got it to work. Afterwards, JO came up to me and said, "You proved my point. Men are stupid." He stands firmly by this opinion. Men just aren't as flexible in their thinking, JO said so and I have no choice but to accept the fact that I'm of the superior gender. :)

squirrel antics

I saw a squirrel with half a donut this morning. He scurried off - most likely to his cup of coffee. I think it might have been the same squirrel that had the chicken bone.

teeth brusher

Is it common for people to brush their teeth at work? I find it so bizarre. Every morning in the ladies room around 9am, it is a guarantee that you will encounter this old woman who I have dubbed the "teeth brusher". It's not a bad thing, she just makes me feel awkward. There is something disturbing to me about brushing teeth in a public bathroom, especially one in DC, where we have a lot of homeless people that like to hang out here. And having a toothbrush and toothpaste to carry could be a burden. My bag is heavy enough. Sheesh.

update on new guy

So, I had NG pegged as a bachelor. I already imagined his whole bachelor life, what his place looked like, what foods he eats, what he does at home...

Come to find out... he's married! I have already imagined a new version of NG. It is a much happier existence. Though I hate making assumptions, I believed that he was single because he didn't wear a wedding band (when does that become okay? does his wife not wear one either? are they in an open marriage? oh dear...). He is more or less put together, wears clothes that fit him, nothing too crazy. JO, who I believe is a bachelor, wears his own uniform, white shirt, black pants, brown belt. Very plain, sometimes a navy v-neck sweater. But yeah, NG doesn't wear the same outfit every day.

Today he said something quite shocking. We had a meeting about a higher-up who is returning from Rio and we were warned to watch out for her because she likes to yell. NG said to me, "If she yells at me, she has something else coming... a lawsuit." *gasp* NG, I had no idea.

We're getting a New New Guy next week, should be interesting, maybe? We'll see.

JO loves me

Today I had to switch teams for work. This involves switching locations and also leaving the co-workers that I've grown so accumstomed to working with. Our teams aren't fixed so we are shifted around quite a bit and the duration of the stints on one team vary depending on the workload.

Anyway, that's the background info. Here is the story.

As I was leaving to head over to Team 1, I told JO that I was leaving. He asked me why I was going over there and I informed him that Jefe told me that they needed me over there. It took a few seconds for it to sink in (JO is an old man after all... the processing capabilities are one of the many things that slow with age and I think he was actually cc'd on the email that Jefe sent me) and then he said, "But what about the jokes? Can we email jokes?"

It was so cute. He really acted as if his work day was going to change just because I wouldn't be there. He then said that he would just have to start talking to himself again. Yeah, JO totally satisfies my love of geriatrics.

no minutes

So, the alma mater just called. Asking for money, naturally. I let the kid talk for about 30 seconds...

Then, EUREKA! I got my excuse!

"Sorry, I don't really have any minutes."

you tell me...

How do you stay friends with someone you don't have anything in common with?

Over time, friendship becomes about sharing stories, sharing experiences, sharing life. It's nice to know you can just go over to someone's place and spend a lazy day together, running errands, chatting, etc. It isn't necessary to make a big to-do. A lot of friendship is about being accessible. Simple things like being around on a random night or picking up the phone at an important time are the moments that make a friendship.

Something that one of my friends recently mentioned to my roomie bothered me. She said that she has been out of contact with me as of late because all I ever talk about is J. I would be lying if I said J wasn't always on my mind (and for obvious reason, I believe), but I don't think that he is all I talk about. Her comment made me feel as if I am a boring individual... a virtual pod, which I don't think that I am. I am dismayed that my friend feels this way about me. Even if J is all I talk about, it's not like I don't allow my friends to get a word in. And I will readily engage in conversation about anything that they want to discuss. I believe I have a good gauge of the ongoings of most of my friends lives. Not only do I know the substance, but I have a pulse on the emotional and mental processes behind them as well. Let's face it, you'd be hard-pressed to find a friend as good as me. Hahahaha... i'll stop.

Looking at my recent blogs, I don't think I mention J all that much. Although anything about relationships may seem to link to J, I also think that the dynamics of relationships are one of my primary interests - family relationships, sibling relationships, romantic relationships, friend relationships, relationships between friends and significant others, etc.

Anyway, if you're reading this and you feel neglected by me or that I talk about J too much, let me know. I'll see what I can do to remedy the situation.

I called an old friend yesterday and we chatted briefly. I haven't talked to him in months and it was good to catch up a bit. I know for a fact that we didn't talk about J the entire time, especially since he had a lot of interesting things going on in his life to catch me up on. Yeah, so this is my life at the moment... if only I were so inspired to write about school library observations... ugh.

the waiting game

I've been toying with this blog for about a month now. I know the feelings that spawned these thoughts, but I am not sure what my point was, so I just decided to put it out there. *shrug*


How long does it take to know whether you love someone? Then what?

Idealistically, it would be an instantaneous thing. Boy meets girl. They fall in love. Get married. Make babies. But even when it is love at first sight, you have to ponder how long before you act upon it because you don't want to jump the gun or scare the other person off. And then you have to ask yourself, what are you waiting for if you already know that someone is "the One". What kind of action are you expected to take?

We can all think of couples that seem like they're ready to seal the deal and we wonder why they haven't gotten married yet. Perhaps one of the people in the relationship is calling the shots and they aren't ready. Maybe they live together despite the lack of a formal commitment and are waiting for other things to fall in place, finances, divorces, I don't know... I guess we learned from a very early age that "First comes love, then comes marriage..." but it's not that easy anymore. Now there are way too many options and other factors.

And then there's the whole other side of waiting for the next step - getting to know each other versus jumping into a relationship, not rushing, living together, etc. Everyone really operates by a different set of rules, timelines, and expectations. At this point, I think we've talked relationships into the ground, yet somehow the dynamic of relationships remains an ever-present topic of conversation. Even though every relationship is so unique, people are forever judging. I think one of the purposes of this blog was to attempt to figure out why, but I haven't found the answer yet.

Oh wait, I have other questions.

So, how much time do you give someone? If you think you're in love with them and they're in love with you, could you wait forever? Is that fair? I've done more than my fair share of waiting and often it was unclear what I was waiting for. Maybe sometimes it was waiting for someone to mess up or for someone to open up (including myself). I never waited idly, I tried to keep an open heart and an open mind constantly working towards some sort of goal (closing the achievement gap, world peace, finding a cure for breast cancer, etc.). Yeah, so I've had lots of practice in the waiting game. I started early (but that's another story). I'm actually on a wait currently, but this time with a much clearer vision ahead.

J$

I am always nervous to talk to J$. Perhaps I should explain who J$ is. J$ is a recruiter for the company I work for. From the beginning of our phone/email exchanges, I had a feeling that he had a crush on me. Anyway, he just sent me an email to call him. So, after about 15 minutes, I did. Turns out he was calling to ask whether I wanted to be considered for a job opening (where I would hopefully be making some more money and doing something a tad more interesting). We shall see where this goes... I have a phone interview with a potential boss tomorrow! Can't get my hopes up yet, but perhaps after the interview I'll get a call from J$ telling me I got the job.

"Lust, Caution" - but mostly Caution

I just saw the movie "Lust, Caution" this past Sunday. It has been a few years since I've seen a movie that left me so tense and riled up (that movie was "Unfaithful"). The entire plot was too much for me to digest. And set in such a tumultuous time, there was no way that I could relate. There is one extremely violent sex scene as well as other violent images and bloody scenes; other things to which I could not relate. I think that the movie was definitely worth watching, but I didn't think I would be so disturbed. I can't stand the built-up tension that I feel and then not having a release. I needed some serious warm and fuzzies after that flick.

Anyway, the movie made a recent conversation that I had with JO (70+ co-worker who says "effing" as well as "poo on that") very relevant. He said "the mind is not an infinite space." Then he began to discourse on how we should be wary of what we put into our minds - what information, visuals, etc. that we take in because they affect us at the subconscious level. He admitted to not watching tv for that reason alone. He is a firm believer in a simple way of life, avoiding unncessary complication and waste of the valuable space in his mind. I don't know how long he has been living his life this way, but he made it clear that it was a deliberate decision. He also urges me not to talk to him about anything remotely disturbing.

I was looking at a strange book about pests or something once and there was something about a rat coming out of a toilet. I asked JO if he ever had a rat come out of his toilet. He was startled as if he couldn't believe his ears. Once he realized what I said, he replied, "HT, don't tell me these things. I don't want those images in my head." Oh, JO. You are definitely the best part of work.

what happens in the ladies room

So, I'm in the doorway of the ladies restroom and I see the cleaning lady in there. She is short and a little chubby with dyed reddish/brown curly hair. She has her back to me, but then she turns around, so I say "Hi."

Then she says with the whole 'ese' headbob (not sure if that is universally recognized, but I have confidence in my audience), "It's closed."

screaming idiot

As I opened the door to go down the stairway in my apartment building, someone was coming up.

I was startled. I screamed. Really loud.

Right in my neighbor's face.

She then said, "I'm so sorry. I didn't know I was that scary." She was really nice about it.

Sorry neighbor.

I scream easily.

yellow tales

J sent me an email that his mom sent him. Here is the comical excerpt.

"HT and I e-mail each other regularly each week. She sent some good pictures of us when we were in Tenn. Quite naturally you and her picture were the first one in the photo book. Moma said ya'll favor and were the same complexion. Hopefully you two are not kin."

I think we're safe on that one. Unless J has some Chinese in him that he's not telling me about. I just thought it was funny that his grandma made that comment. Hilarious.

new guy

Work is still boring as ever, but my co-workers make things a bit more interesting.

The new guy is a tall, brown-haired, blue-eyed 40+ white man. I try my best to be nice to him but there has been no real rapport established. I have had more chats with this other guy though, B. He is my age and he has some witty things to say here and there.

Anyway, we had a meeting the other day. So, when it was about time to head over to the meeting I asked B if he was ready to go. B then asked New Guy if he was coming. New Guy got up as if he was going to follow us to the meeting. B and I got to the elevator and NG was nowhere to be seen. So, we headed off without him.

We lost NG. I guess he doesn't want to be our friend.

racial rejects

So, last weekend when Effie was visiting, she mentioned that she is a racial reject. Eureka!! Me too! We never really defined the term, so here is my attempt. A Racial Reject is someone who is not seen as _______ (fill in blank with the reject's racial group) enough for their cultural cohorts. I don't think white people can be RRs because they are in such a majority that they have plenty of subsets to choose from and other cultures who will accept them as the token white person in their group (or they could simply adopt aspects of a culture - music, food, language, etc.). No one will fault a white person for being interested in another culture as long as they aren't making a mockery of it, whereas anyone else's racial group will quickly spot a RR.

I was at dinner once with a bunch of my brother's friends and friends of friends. There was a kid there that didn't know me or my brother. Roomie and I ended up giving him a ride home and on the way, his impressions of me and my brother came out. Based on appearance, my brother looks a lot more "Asian" (ahem, fobbish) than I do. No one would spot my brother as a RR. However, my brother can not understand or speak any Chinese. The kid then said that I looked like I didn't speak Chinese. The kid had me pegged for an RR solely based on my appearance.

Knowing a language or any of the cultural norms is not what makes you part of your racial group. It is greatly dependant on appearance and your general life perspective.

I have made mention before about my lack of appeal towards Asian men. I'm missing Asian energy apparently. And I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I have a very non-traditional Asian household. My parents came from two different countries, met in America, rushed into marriage, had kids and then a messy divorce. My uber-traditional dad did not have a major role in my childhood and my mom ended up marrying a black man.

I was fortunate to grow up in a place where I was surrounded by different races and could always find at least one person who looked similar to me. Early on, I gravitated towards those people, but I wasn't exclusive. In middle school, I had my little Asian clique, which was mainly exclusive. That fell to the wayside in high school, though I still had a few Asian friends. In college, I remember thinking that all the Asian kids travelled around in huge packs wearing black and I didn't want to be a part of that. There was one Chinese girl who I befriended for a short while, but then I realized she was shady.

I think for a lot of Asian people (at least on the East Coast), going to college was the first time that there were pockets of Asians for them to befriend, so they immerse themselves into it. I had that exposure early on and didn't really feel as if I fit in that well. My Chinese speaking skills weren't very sharp and they seemed a lot more materialistic than me. I think in the back of my mind I knew that there were certain expectations that I couldn't live up to and also some that of which I was not aware.

No one wants to quantify their _______-ness. I think in Black culture, they are a lot harder on their RRs. Asian RRs don't have to confront that as often because there aren't as many Asian people around. There are also cultural differences. Black people will give looks and make comments about RRs, whereas Asian people will just avoid or ignore them. I'm not sure how one becomes a RR. Environment, interests, experiences?

A distinction needs to be made between RRs and people that have openly rejected their race (for example, the black person in the white greek organization). They have motives, unlike the RR. They might feel some sort of shame against their culture or perhaps they are trying to feel special in the sea of whiteness.

I think we have to have some sort of sympathy for the RR. We don't mean to defy the expectations, we just can't bring ourselves to succumb to them and not be who we are. It's an internal struggle. I mean, isn't it hard enough not to fit in? Can we fault the RR for being who they are? It's just not fair. I'm going to start a club. More to come later, hopefully.

where do they pick up these things?

Today, my 70+ Japanese co-worker came up to me and said, "I'm sick of these f-ing errors."

He didn't say the f-word, but just effing.

For clarification, he is not the fogie I complained about in a previous blog. That oldie actually got fired last week and he was Indian, I believe. He couldn't keep up, so they had to let him go. And, I think he was kind of lazy as well. We're getting a new guy next week. Should be interesting.

ain't a thing but a chicken wing

Did you know squirrels eat chicken bones?

Walking towards my apartment I saw a squirrel with something in its mouth climbing up a tree. It was a rather large object compared to what I imagine a squirrel to be carrying (y'know...small fruits and nuts). Once the squirrel got up the tree, he perched himself on a branch and lo and behold, he was gnawing on a chicken bone.

fogies

Sometimes old people are funny. They try to tell you how to do things, despite the fact that some of their techniques are completely outdated, prehistoric even. An older co-worker was trying to instruct me on how to fill out some sheet. Now, this is something that I've been doing for awhile now, and have had no complaints about until today. I made a minor mistake because some of the books were out of order and he proceeds to give me a 15 minute tutorial. I didn't mind, I'm at work, I've got time to kill. And I did learn about a few nuances that I didn't know before (space versus no space, all caps for months... really IMPORTANT stuff...). What I did mind, however was that he acted like he knew everything. And sorry, Mr. Man... you don't. I later had to correct a few mistakes that he had made, but I didn't feel the need to go over and give him a lecture about it. It's not my style. Hopefully, I won't become one of those old people.

do we know ourselves better when we're children?

The other day I met up with my best friend from first grade for dinner. Our friendship dwindled during high school and we grew apart. We didn't have a falling out or anything, we just ended up hanging out with different crowds. I am not sure what drew us to become friends initially. Perhaps I just wanted to have a friend who looked like me (she's 3/4 Chinese, 1/4 Native American). I am not sure if we had anything else in common. We always had fun when we hung out though.

As we caught up over dinner, we came to find out that our post-college lives have been quite similar. She served a year with AmeriCorps and she even considered a masters in library science at University of Maryland. Like me, she also considered being a school counselor. She has finally settled on starting her career in the field of social work - a field that I could have seen myself getting suckered into.

It's funny how our paths diverged so much during high school and then so shockingly close in our adult lives. In terms of post-college lives, I'd say none of my friends' lives are as similar to mine (with the exception for my Boston friends). So, perhaps in my early, early years, I was able to pick out like-minded individuals or maybe our childhood inclinations foretell a lot more about our adult personalities and interests than we think.

i've missed blogging and my roomie

Today Jefe mentioned that he had a truck of books about growing marijauna. I commented that my ex-boyfriend would have found that interesting. Then he said so would his ex-wife!!! It was jaw-dropping. I learned more about the ex-wife and the divorce drama today. So very interesting, so glad it's not my life. *whew*

Life is so different now, but also getting back to normal, if that makes sense. Roomie is back from Japan so there is someone else in this space again, which I missed (though I did enjoy the freedom of roaming around naked). It's good to have her back again. In our time apart, we have become altered individuals - her by a new and different culture and me by a new and different relationship. I would like to think that we are more balanced than we were before. We've found a center for ourselves in the post-ballet academy chaos.

We are both starting grad school this week so there is a whole new schedule to work out and roomie bonding time to coordinate. We will have to commence our chatting about life observations (our own lives and the lives others...) There is so much catching up to do, but as for me... I also have sleep to catch up on.

more awkwardness with jefe

So, my boss isn't in the best shape. Ok, he's kind of fat. The weird thing is how he mentions it all the time. He's constantly talking about how he needs to go on a diet or "get rid of this" while gesturing to his spare tire. I think he's a little obsessed with it. "I need to lose this so I can get dates. My friends say that women don't care and that I should lose the weight for myself, but that's my motivation."

So weird. I wonder how he got dates in the first place. He used to be married. So bizarre.

The book I'm currently reading is called The Golden Compass. It has an elaborate web of characters with a lot of underlying motives and schemes. In the dullness of my work environment I've begun to apply some of these traits to the people that I work with. There are the bad guys who mask themselves as nice guys and then the good person who is a martyr that the rest of them plot against. Of course, I'm rooting for the underdog, while having to put on my own mask for the bad guys. Yeah, work is really boring. I can tolerate it for the time being since I know that I will be in school soon (August 29th!!!) and I won't be here forever. At least I hope not!

divas in the moonlight

It's time for Girl Scout Camp again! Things got off to a rocky start because I'm a Bus Monitor for this camp on top of my Unit Leader duties. The bus arrived about an hour late so all my girls were already there waiting for me. I felt awful.

Anyway, my unit color is yellow and the girls decided that we should be "The Stars." I think it's cute.

One little girl in my unit is also a bus rider so she asked to sit with me on the bus. She's the cutest thing, olive skin and curly brown hair.

On the bus, we talked about a number of things, such as the Tooth Fairy and about why eating fruits and vegetables is good for you. She recently received $2 for a tooth. Inflation!!! I don't recall how much I received, but I want to say it was pocket change. Is $2 now pocket change or are little girls' teeth more valuable now than before? Hmm...



Another interesting topic that came up was religion. I'm not sure where it came from, but seemingly out of the blue, she said,

"God made us."

"Oh yeah? What else did he make?"

thinking "He made EVERYTHING."

"Where did you learn that?"

"Nowhere, I just always knowed."

It was pretty darn precious.

She is obviously one of my favorites, though she has some brat tendencies. She likes to take her time finishing things, so someone is always having to stay back with her or the whole group has to wait for her. Such a Diva... My other favorite so far is another little girl named Samantha. I'm not sure why I like her. She has a quiet demeanor, but not out of shyness. I think she is just very observant.

inspector ht

I was wearing purple latex gloves and learning about gaylords.

This is my life.

sticky business

Every summer I inevitably step in gum. It creates a stringy mess and I hate it. Today, I saw that humans are not the only beings susceptible to this predicament. I saw a pigeon with a wad of gum stuck to his foot.

I'm glad I wear shoes.

I found a penis in my water bottle!!!

It was actually just ice in the shape of a penis, but imagine drinking your Dasani and having a penis dead in your face. I wish I took a picture. I am not sure if the ice penis can be recreated, but next time, I'll be more prepared.

In case you were wondering, there were no balls.

i like a little corn in the morning

When I got off the metro today, I saw a girl dressed up as an ear of corn, husks and all. She looked so cheery. There were people around her talking about green energy and trying to hand out things, but I didn't accept any of their pamphlets. Seeing the girl really made my day for some reason and I had to think back to the day that I dressed up like a cow. Oh, Corngirl... I feel your shame.

summer obsession

I love "So You Think You Can Dance!" It has been the highlight of my summer. This season, there is a guy on it who used to go to the ballet academy - Danny. He has amazing technique and is a great dancer to watch, but there is a disconnect. He comes off as very arrogant and I think that this is indicative of how A LOT of the kids at the ballet academy are. Isn't that crazy? Now you have an idea of the attitudes that I had to deal with this past year.

I actually ran into a couple of the boys from the ballet academy a couple days ago while I was coming back from the library (and the liquor store, which they noticed from the brown paper bag I was carrying). Running into them made me a little nostalgic for the kid interaction, but that only lasts about 5 minutes, if that.

Things are going well at the LOC. It's pretty mindless, but I guess it's a good resume builder and I'll have great resources while I'm in grad school. We'll see how the 9-5 works out for me.

awkward...

My new supervisor is recently divorced. Ever since the first day we started work he has informed us of this - how he's billed by his lawyer, how he's 36 and divorced, etc. As if all of that isn't strange on its own, today while we are talking about work emails, he says, "Just type my last name into the send window. Nobody else in the LOC has my last name. Nobody wants my last name."

*crickets*

I don't suppose that's the type of joke you laugh at, huh? Don't worry, I didn't. I just pretended like he didn't say it.

things that make me laugh

- the Honduran souvenir that my mom's friend gave her
- packing my lunch for work
- making corny jokes
- "Lean like a Cholo"

confused

My ever unpredictable life has surprised me once again. Who would have guessed that I would have to put off work for a week in order to help plan a funeral?

Yeah. I really couldn't find a better way to say it. My stepdad passed away and I've been forced to put aside my own selfish plans and wants. I just never anticipated any of this. I guess no one did. Needless to say, it has been an emotional experience. Anger and frustration topped the list, but I think they have subsided. I've more or less come to terms with the whole situation and I'm ready to move forward. After this Saturday, it will be behind me.

Perhaps I will have more on this later when I have further processed. Right now I'd just like to regain a sense of balance and order.

is summer over?

I just finished the final book in the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. I have had a secret addiction to the lives and adventures of the foursome of girls for almost two years now. I can't believe that it's over. I can't read about Tibby, Bee, Carmen and Lena anymore. The pants are gone, but their friendship lives on, as strong as always. Wow, even I have to marvel at my cheesiness here.

Reading about the importance of friendship always makes me so happy because I can't imagine my life without my friends. It's reassuring to think that you really do have others to lean on, that there are people you can turn to at any hour of the day to share your hopes and disappointments with...

The girls in the Traveling Pants complete each other. Their friendships with one another mold them and in an essence create their identities. I view my friendships in a similar way because I learn so much about myself through my friends. Sometimes I truly feel that I am nothing without them.

The end of the book seems to coincide with the end of my summer, or at least my lazy summer days. I start work on Monday. 9-5 (or something close to it), M-F. I guess it will be good to get some routine back into my life, not that I really have a choice.

New life, new book... what do I read next?

crossing over the nerd threshold

I've always claimed to be a nerd. I could probably go to the bookstore or library every day of the week and never get bored. I enjoy board games and museums (just not art museums). I am going to school to become a librarian, for crying out loud.

Despite all these things, I was never certain that I was a full-fledged nerd. The past few days have confirmed it for me. And the event that solidified all of this was the ALA (American Library Association) Annual Conference. This year it was held in Washington DC, so it was great to be able to just hop on the metro and be surrounded by books, authors, and other people just as enthused as me.

I am so excited to become a librarian. Even though I saw some STRANGE looking people (obese, extremely short, horrendous outfits), I knew that I shared something in common with them and I think that's lovely.

judy blume has magic

Just when I thought my emotions couldn't be stirred any stronger since the movie, in the matter of days, I am sitting in a giant ballroom fighting back tears as I listen to Judy Blume speak. I was overwhelmed with emotions as I drank in each of her anecdotes and absorbed her wisdom. It was amazing to be in the presence of someone who is so accomplished and has such a sense of who she is and a grip on her life's passion.

I am positive that her words touched everyone in the ballroom today. Women of each age, race, and background took something away from her speech.

Listening to her talk has left an impression on me. I wish I had thought to scribble down some of the things she said, but it would have been too much to do that and hold my tears in.

I know for certain that she mentioned the word magic. I am fascinated with that word right now because it's an intangible thing that I want so desperately to feel, to touch, to hold.

She talked about how hard writing is, but I think that pursuing any dream has its own challenges. Facing rejection and criticism is a part of life, but you can't let it break you. I can't articulate the inspiration she bestowed me with today. I just feel so lucky to have been there.

spellbound

I just finished watching a movie that somehow made my heart feel off kilter. I'm not sure how this was accomplished. I didn't relate with the characters nor have I ever encountered circumstances such as those in the movie, yet I found myself swept away.

I almost hate it when I watch movies that impact me so deeply because I can't stop thinking about them and then there are these enormous ideas that possess me. I'm already an idealist and then these fantastic plots manifest themselves to the point that I start to believe that magic does exist.

I don't want to stop believing.

so close, I can taste it, though I'm not sure I'm going to like the taste...

I am on the verge of getting a job at the Library of Congress. I would be a Library Technician and I would be learning tons about different systems in the library and more of the behind the scene stuff that nobody really gets to see. I won't be interacting with many people... I might get lost in the underground tunnels of the LOC (Library of Congress; I'm picking up the jargon already!)...I might not see much sunlight... but these are not the things that I fear.

What I fear is the 9-5. I fear the monotony and the inability to have weekdays to myself. I fear that I won't be able to make my doctor appointments or be able to run my random errands. Who's going to return my library books?! My mornings of leisure will be a thing of the past.

I'll let you know how this works out. I passed up on the New Orleans gig, in case you were wondering.

faces

I just found out some news about someone that I once was close to, if only for a moment in time. It involves drugs, money and the police. I think you get the idea. It's astounding how much a person can hide from other people, the face you choose to show and the facade that you have to keep up.

I had some idea of who and what he really was, but I chose to overlook those things and give him the benefit of the doubt. I questioned his character and I knew that I would ultimately regret any future with him, which is why I'm glad our relationship ended. I can't say I'm shocked at this information, I just can't imagine what circumstances I would have been in if I were still close to him.

unemployed = me

And I couldn't be happier!!! I was let go when I informed my supervisor that I wouldn't be able to attend training. Apparently I was supposed to consider training before making any travel plans for my time off. *shrug* I don't care. I feel so free and I've been doing wonderful things with my time such as applying to other jobs and making banana bread.

this is probably funnier to me because its 4 am...

Coming back from a night out, I was about to get on the elevator in my apartment when I look down and see this...



what the?!?!

I was in a state of utter confusion, which is a state that I am quite familiar with. I then realized that I had put on one of my roommates shoes that she had in her car. Oops... we got a good laugh.

can someone else do it...

I hate making decisions. It isn't really how I anticipated starting my summer. I've been out of work for roughly a week and it has been a lot of fun. I've seen most of my friends, entertained visitors, spied on a blind date, stayed up all night in New York, and then some... Now I am coming off of that whirlwind, letting the excitement simmer down and settle.

I have to start thinking about what I want to do with the rest of my summer, what I am going to do in the fall, and how I will cope financially for the upcoming year. Have I mentioned that roomie is in fact, not moving to New York? HUGE WEIGHT lifted off my shoulders and let's be honest, the ballet academy took too much out of us for us to truly enjoy our wonderful living situation. I am thrilled to continue living with her.

Anyway, in about two weeks, I have to either go back to work at the ballet academy or I can get on a plane and face the unknown of New Orleans (that is, if they want me... I find out next week). The New Orleans AmeriCorps program I applied for is eight weeks, while work at the ballet academy would only be six weeks. I am also taking quite a pay cut and essentially throwing job security for the following year out the window. I don't know how much of a sacrifice that is, considering I don't love working at the ballet academy anyway.

If I do go to New Orleans, I am missing out on a summer with all my nearest and dearest and I will have to find a job upon my return - a job that will pay me at least as much as the ballet academy (which in theory, shouldn't be too difficult to find). Then I start my grad program! New Job? Grad Program? It's a little overwhelming. I am hoping for a grad assistantship so that I can get a break on tuition because I already have loans to deal with. I will only have a few weeks in August to get all that sorted out. If I continue working at the ballet academy, I might just be signing up for another year of misery.

I am not sure what to do because I am not certain whether I am capable of juggling so many things at once. I often need time alone to recharge and work through my mental processes. Who knows if I will have time to do that next year or if it's going to be go-go-go 24/7? I am having one of those moments right now while I'm at my mom's. It's a bit of a retreat because I can avoid reality and responsibility a little bit and watch some MNT soccer. The chaos of this environment gives me a great excuse to be unproductive (and not shower).

I think my mind is already made up. I've discussed with some friends and my mom. So, I guess we just have to see whether AmeriCorps wants me in New Orleans or not. And we have to see if they can give me good terms for my stay there... hmmm... I would ALSO like to find out if I got any of the scholarships that I applied for. That would be a big help. *sigh* When is it all going to fall into place?

a moment with mom

Driving to dim sum with my mom today, we were talking about how my car was running. It's about 15 years old. Only two of its four doors actually open from the inside. There's a dent in the bumper that I put there about ten years ago. The interior of the roof is sagging just a bit. And, the front license plate mysteriously disappeared recently.

Regardless of these things, I enjoy my car, poor brakes, scratched paint and all. It was also the first big purchase that my mom made after she divorced my dad, so I feel like there is some sentimental value there as well, though she was almost going to get rid of it before I came back to Virginia. Anyway, we're on our way to dim sum. Mom is behind the wheel and she says, "You should go on 'Pimp My Ride.'" Such a strange comment for so many reasons.

local celebrity crush

This past Sunday, while out at Lima, I met my local celebrity crush. It was a very minor crush. I know this because I hadn't fully stalked him on the internet until I met him. I spoke to him briefly, but that was about it. I'm not too smooth when it comes to those types of situations. I will have to work on that.

HOW DID I FORGET?!?!?!

I am working my last Saturday overnight shift of the year. I can hardly contain myself! Now I must run home and sleep.

a pity

I don't like pity when it comes to really serious matters. I don't even tell people about some of the more serious issues in my life because I don't want to be consoled, at least I don't think I do. I don't really know how I would want anyone to respond. I am typically not capable of dealing with problems in the moment. It takes solitude and time in order for me to process and I guess I find it easier to make a joke out of some things. But, there are some situations that aren't funny by any stretch of the imagination. Everything always comes to a head and we realize that we don't have all the time in the world.

I downplay any "drama" that has occurred in my life. Nervous laughter is my most common response when people tell me something sad. I feel awkward before I feel sympathetic. I don't even think my means of cheering up is orthodox. I'm an avoider. It's easier to just not say anything because then maybe the problem is not real.

So, yeah... something sort of huge is weighing on me. I feel helpless in the situation and horrible that I am not doing anything proactive about it. It's not on my mind a whole lot, which in itself makes me feel guilty, only every now and then it strikes me and maybe there is a fleeting flash of sadness in my eyes, but I don't dwell on it. If I think about it too long, I am plagued with the "what ifs" and those questions are too hard to answer.

ramblings before bedcheck...

I am currently taking a break from my fries and fried chicken wrap in order to burp and blog. I was eating to the point of asphyxiation when I realized that I have about 6 hours left of my shift. Still have bedcheck to do as well as typing up the daily report.

Hmm... so, what's been going on lately? This week I spent entirely too much time at work, but I don't really have a lot to complain about. Kids are tolerable since performance is coming up and they don't have the energy to fight you on every little thing. The dinner cruise/"prom" was last night, so I got to eat and dance, easily two of my favorite things to do. What I thought was going to be a terrible week actually turned out better than ok. And now there is only one more week of work left!!!

Over the break, we are celebrating roomie's birthday, going to New York for a small CA family reunion, going to visit Fromme in San Diego (solo venture), and redecorating our apartment!

I seem to always be a part of a "we" for some reason. It's been some time since the "we" was actually me and a male and even then I'm not convinced we "we'd" very much. Perhaps I'm just better "we-ing" with friends. I am not sure why I always have one person in my life who morphes into my counterpart. I don't think I am co-dependent, but what other explanation is there?

what's it called when...

you like someone too old for you? Where is the clever term for the opposite of "robbing the cradle?"

Today I realized that I found a kid's dad attractive. When he said my name, I think I swooned just a little. Is that wrong? I'm obviously not trying to get in his pants since he's married and all, just admiring. He's not sexy really, just has this presence. *shrug* Do men get better with age?

"you want the truth?"

Where do we learn how to lie?

It's not something our parents teach us. It's not something we learn in school. There aren't public service announcements. Yet, somewhere along the way, we all acquire the ability to spin the truth or to tell the "little white lie."

This thought came to me today when I thought of how honest children are. My three and a half year old second-cousin came up to me at my cousin's birthday party and said, "I like you. Your dress is pretty." Why is it that this compliment was so much more meaningful coming from a 3 year old than a 30 year old (sorry cuz...)?

The honesty in children is so enlightening. You can trust that they aren't trying to get anything out of you (except maybe a few minutes of bubble wrap-popping fun). They don't have to put on a fake face or have a couple drinks before the truth comes out. They just tell it like it is. And nobody holds it against them. Ahhhh... and is that the answer?

We learn to "refine" the truth or hide certain details to protect ourselves?

I've never been a good liar. I think my M.O. was to not say anything. As a toddler, when my mom asked me if I drank my brother's bottle, I just didn't reply. Not answering was surely better than lying, and perhaps a smidge less incriminating. I may or may not employ the same tactics now. Being honest doesn't always put you high on everyone's favorites list, which might explain some things in my life.

It's weird because we are led to believe that honesty is an admirable trait. Of our forefathers (ok... feel a little awkward calling them that...) we have "Honest Abe" and good old "I cannot tell a lie" Washington. How times have changed. Nobody has such monikers these days, at least nobody I know of. I guess what it comes down to is that some people just don't want to hear the truth.

dispelling the myth

I was given a lot of crap this past Thursday evening because a certain Kor-negro is under the impression that I only like white guys. I've known him for about 4-5 years and in that time I've definitely had an intense flirtation/borderline relationship with one black guy who he knew of, but he seems to ignore that fact. I've also had a crush here and there on other random guys of different ethnicities. This leads me to believe that his gripe is really just a cover-up for his disappointment that I haven't dated an Asian guy.

First of all, the first Asian man ever in my life was a disappointment that caused strife in my childhood. The relationship has been reconciled, but it doesn't change the impression I was left with growing up.

Second, when I liked Asian guys on a more regular basis (middle school?), they didn't seem to like me back.

Third, and probably most importantly and I realize this goes back to my second point ... Asian guys don't like me!!!

Generally, Asian guys like their Asian girls to fit into a specific mold. There are already expectations set in place. I think the typical Asian girl can fall into one of four categories.

1) The Innocent/China Doll - usually petite and always undeniably cute - someone who eminates a certain helplessness

2) The Bitch/Sexpot - beautiful and she knows it - men are her slaves, if you enter into a relationship with her, you can expect to be at her beck and call, she's liable to nag you to death as well.

3) The Submissive - she will cook and clean for you in order to prove her worthiness - she might have a low self-esteem, be very well trained, or have extremely strong ties to tradition

4) The Nerd - she doesn't exude any sexiness - she probably has a body comparable to a wooden plank and though she is nice, there will never be any sexual tension

So, pretty much, if you're not The Innocent, The Bitch or The Submissive, no Asian guy is going to like you. Asian girls have a charm of being coy, quiet and needy that I can't seem to grasp.

The last Asian guy that was in my presence deemed me undateable because despite my exterior (let's just throw in posterior why we're at it... though I guess they aren't exactly highly favored by Asian guys anyway), I have "a lot of mouth." Who me?! I had no idea...

Roomie's brother also commented that in his observation of Asian guys, he has noticed that they go for girls that are reserved and quiet. "HT has an attitude and Asian guys don't like that." So, apparently even non-Asian guys can pick me out as a girl that Asian guys wouldn't like!

Girls like me that don't fit neatly into one of the forementioned categories have to seek guys outside of the race. Perhaps this explains why you so often find Asian women with non-Asian men. I haven't formed a solid theory on "Yellow Fetish" yet, but that's one arena that I would like to stay out of anyway. In conclusion, perhaps it isn't Asian women rejecting Asian men, but Asian men rejecting Asian women.

cultural identity crisis?

"She's just Black."

"Are you kin to Kimora Lee (who is 1/2 Black, and 1/2 Japanese)?"

"Do you wish you were Black?"

These are just a few phrases I've encountered in the past few years. I've never thought of myself as anything besides a little Asian girl, though I realize that I'm not typical by any standard.

My mom dated Black men since she separated from my Taiwanese father. I saw my first tub of hair grease at age 10 and I started using Palmer's cocoa butter around that same time. Perhaps it was this early exposure that has made me so comfortable with Black culture and the Black community. Even though I'm comfortable with it, I know that I don't engage in the same banter nor have the same charms as Black girls, nor do I try to pretend that I do. I like mostly r&b and hip-hop music, but I don't speak in 'ebonics' nor do I wear Baby Phat or Fubu.

I always had friends of different races and ethnicities growing up and there was never any tension in that for me. I can remember holidays in my house spent with not just my family, but with family friends from different countries and of different complexions.

I feel like I have gained some sort of acceptance by Black people, maybe because I have a sense of rhythm and I'm smart enough to not use the 'N-word.' I feel comfortable saying Black instead of 'African-American' because it doesn't sound derogatory to me and I think that making the distinction between an African descendant living in America and a person living in America who is a product of slavery is important.

The other day I was hanging out with a crowd of all Black people and didn't give it a second thought until my friend called me 'Negro' to which I announced to everyone else, 'He called me a negro!' Did he really see me as a negro?! Him, who is half Korean and half Black? It was a comical moment and a realization that everybody there really was a negro except me (or so I thought...). It was amusing. Later on that evening, me and the Kor-negro had to bond as the Asian contingent of our party when everyone else was talking about colonization and color complexes.

Sometimes I feel as if I am better able to fit in with Black people than with Asian people. I have a tendency to hang back in most crowds especially during the first interaction so I don't notice a marked difference in my behavior due to different environments or company. I would hope that both cultures would be accepting of me, but I tend to hang out with more Black people than Asian people. My Asian friends are either in CA or they do not enjoy the same types of activities as I do (namely sweating my face off on the dance floor with or without the help of alcohol).

Being a racial minority is something that I can not hide. It is in my appearance, in my name, and perhaps a lot of my odd behaviors or characteristics are a result of my Asian background and upbringing. I have had (White) friends tell me that they think of me as White and though they might mean it as a compliment or a way of explaining how close they feel to me, I take it as an insult. One of my friends recently said that she was happy that I was "getting into" my culture. I didn't realize that I wasn't into it to begin with. Am I supposed to carry around chopsticks and watch Anime in order to show that I'm Chinese? I'm sorry I don't do kung fu and that my math skills are questionable.

Most of society (ok, most White people) can't understand the struggle that minorities sometimes face. You always feel as if you are a representative for your race. When the Virginia Tech Massacre occurred, I know every Asian nationality group was on edge about what nationality the shooter was. One person can bring shame and embarassment to an entire race. White people don't really have to deal with this dilemma because they are in the majority and simply have to represent themselves as individuals. It is also evident in how they relate with minorities. My non-White friends might not think of me in racial terms all the time, but would never think of me as White, whereas some of my White friends would be quick to lump me into their group in their acceptance of me.

The most recent time that I can recall feeling really uncomfortable about race was when I was in CA. I had met up with some people to watch 'Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic'. In the movie she makes fun of different racial groups. As a Jew, she is part of a minority group, but not necessarily a visually obvious one. Sitting in the theatre, listening to each jab that she took at Blacks, Asians or Hispanics, I wanted to shrivel up and disappear. It became startlingly apparent to me that everyone else in the theatre was White. After the movie, everyone I was with seemed to rave about how funny it was. Hmm... maybe because she didn't make fun of White people. They had no clue of how awkward I felt or how disgusted I was that I had paid money to feel the way I did. Thankfully, those people weren't my close friends, but mere acquaintances. I don't know if I would want friends who thought that movie was funny. Perhaps this will be a part of my "Friendship Test."

Roomie was the one that prompted me to write this blog. I guess it's something that we discuss a lot in our attempt to figure out who we are. Is that weird? Is our roommate relationship turning us into narcissists?! Oh dear... sounds like a potential blog.

excuse me...

Um... ex-boyfriend, why are you texting my best friend at MIDNIGHT?! Get your own friends! Sheesh... What is wrong with you?

I'm remembering that I don't really enjoy the sound of your voice and you mumble. Please leave my friends alone, they think you're an idiot.

heartbreaker?

The promo I worked today required me trying to convince people to allow themselves to be videotaped for a website/commercial/future-television-show. The topic of the video clip was heartbreak. Since this promo wasn't simply about passing out coupons or vitamins, I had to turn on the limited charm I have. Somehow, one of my interactions took a strange turn when I played into this guy's joke about heartbreak. I asked him if he had a story to share and he was like, "Yeah, why didn't you call me?" We joked a little bit and he signed the release form and did a video clip for us. About two hours later, he found me and said, "I forgot something." And when I asked him what he forgot, he said he forgot to get my number.

***Crickets***

Sorry guy. I don't think you're cute. I'm working this promo and I have to be nice to you, but I feel kinda bad...

I didn't say anything.

The silence lasted a little too long and then he finally saved himself with, "I'm just kidding." Whew. I didn't really want to crack his face, but I know I still kinda did. *shrug* What was I supposed to do?

so much to blog, so little time...

This week has been a bit of a whirlwind. Tuesday, I convinced N to buy and wear a fake engagement ring so that we could go to a Bride's Night Out event in which we (D, P, N and I) got to sample food and wine, as well as a chocolate fountain. It was not a bad time and definitely hilarious because N was wearing an $8 "diamond" ring from Claire's. She claimed to have a good time, but who really knows with those pods.

Wednesday, I worked. Thursday I worked a promo at the University of Maryland . The promo only lasted an hour because we were handing out fliers. I was quite proud of myself for navigating my way there, I must say. Later that evening, Roomie and I went to a soccer game. Afterwards we went out to K Street Lounge with some of the guys.

I had a brief and interesting conversation with one of the players because he asked me why I was so picky when it came to guys. I told him that I wasn't necessarily picky, but that guys just don't like me. I believe what I said was, "Have you seen any guys approach me or try to talk to me?" Then I mentioned how guys like girls with problems who are needy. It was refreshing to hear him tell me otherwise. A relief actually.

Today, I worked about fourteen hours straight. It wasn't as bad as it sounds, despite the fact that I only got three hours of sleep. I worked a promo for about 6 hours at University of Maryland, during which I got a lovely sunburn on my nose, and then I worked at the ballet academy.

I felt like luck was on my side today. I parked in a lot that I wasn't supposed to park in while at University of Maryland and didn't get a ticket! YAY! And then when I came home tonight, I was able to find a parking space instead of parking in the Giant parking lot. During my promo today, for some reason Mr. Campbell (our boss) decided that I should get a free webcam. So, now I have a webcam. I made a promise with him to actually use it, so I will try to get on that. Perhaps my diaries will have a new format soon.

does anyone snood anymore?

The latest craze at the ballet academy is... drumroll please... tetris.

Um... yeah... the game I played in ELEMENTARY school. I don't get it. I guess classics never go out of style.