Why is it that there are some guys (perhaps girls do it too, but I've no examples at the moment) out there that think they can keep you waiting on the backburner forever? At least two if not three of my nearest and dearest are/were in this situation and I've experienced it myself. I think a lot of times the guys aren't ready or maybe there are times when we're the ones who are not ready. So maybe there are huge issues with timing. It's been said on many occasions, "If me and X ever get back together, it's over (as in, we're getting married - game over)."
As much as we want to hold on to our ideals of the happy ending with our "first love" there comes a time when you have to move on. You think you'll never love anyone the way you love X and though that might be true, new love that comes along can be just as good and even more fulfilling. These new people know what they want (namely you... and isn't it amazing to be wanted in that way?) and go to inconceivable lengths to attain it while making it so organic and easy at the same time. They persist, they flirt, they woo you and sweep you off your feet. They break your "rules" and they win your heart. And what a relief to not be left guessing someone's feelings, thoughts, or intentions!
I think the backburner guys think they have the upper-hand on any new guy that comes along. And in some ways they do. They have history, comfort, and of course all the emotions on their side. They had you once and they think that they can have you again, but as the stress, pain, and anguish stack up, you realize that you going back to them requires a lot more from them than they are capable of investing. And maybe it is circumstances beyond their control that are keeping them from pursuing you, but waiting for the grand gesture is exhausting. When something new comes along, something simple and untainted with any of the heartache, it's like coming alive again. And maybe that's when we discover that on the backburner isn't where we want to be nor is it a place we ever belonged.
2 comments:
Do you think though that sometimes that it is reciprocal? That we too are keeping them on the backburner in a way? Not hanging around waiting for them exactly...But isn't that thought of, maybe one day, the same thing?
Um... I think if you are both keeping each other on the backburner then it's a different situation. Many couples go back and forth and I think that's more of what it is. If one person is typically more fixed on having a relationship than the other, that is when you have a backburner.
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