two years...

My dad has mentioned to me a few times that my god-cousin, Allen, had a brain tumor. He would ask me if I had heard any word of whether Allen had passed away or not. Growing up, my mom, grandmother, brother and I would go to visit Allen's family in North Carolina a lot. I can remember spending short weekends there as well as entire summers.

Allen was some years older than me. He got married when I was in the 11th grade. That was the last time I saw him.

Today, I went over to my cousin Cathy's to pick up some pictures that my uncle had set aside for me. While I was over there, my uncle told me that Allen passed away two years ago. I didn't know how to respond, though I was already given some warning via my dad. I guess I knew it was a strong possibility. I just can't believe he died two years ago.

My mom has grown so distant from the people that she was once close to, which is probably why we didn't find out about Allen. My cousin, Christina, gave me some insight on that while I was in Australia. I guess it's a lot of cultural and "adult" stuff that I wouldn't understand or stuff that my mom doesn't think I would understand. Come to think of it, two years ago was also right around the time my step-dad passed away.

I guess sometimes we don't know how to reach out when our loved ones are what we need.

Allen's parents helped shape my childhood. I spent summers in their restaurant clearing tables, peeling potatoes, wrapping eggrolls, etc. They helped my family a lot through the whole messy divorce between my parents. I feel devastated that I was not there for them in their time of grief. I hate that we've lost touch with them, but I'm not sure how to get back in touch again.

basement brothel

The day I started moving in to my new apartment, I noticed something strange. The apartment across the hall housed at least 2-3 Asian women who seemed to receive a lot of male visitors. In fact, on that first day, in a half hour span, two different middle-aged men knocked on the door and were let in.

Before I left for Australia, I commented to J that I thought they were prostitutes. He knows I enjoy making outlandish observations, but while I was in Australia, he had plenty of time to make his own observations. The trend continued. There seemed to be a steady flow of male visitors who would leave typically within an hour.

Every time there is a noise in the hallway, we go bolting to the peephole to see who might be out there. It never fails. It's always a random man. There have even been a few repeat visitors. We take every opportunity to peak into their apartment via the sliding glass doors in the back. There is a partition up on one side and a sofa bed, I believe. The tv will often be on, but nobody is there watching. I never see them inside, so I can only deduce that they are in the bedroom!

I'm tempted to knock on the door one day and introduce myself. I'm afraid the new neighbor window will be closed soon. How am I supposed to gather more evidence to support my hypothesis?

dashed

I found out just now that I didn't get my supervisor's position. One of my old managers got the job. I'm just glad it was an old manager and not a co-worker. She's really good at what she does, so I'm sure I'll have plenty to learn from her. She won't start until the end of the month/beginning of next month probably, so all of fall hiring is still on my shoulders.

I guess this is for the best. I think getting away for a bit has refreshed me enough for me to stick with my job for awhile. Hopefully a raise is coming soon!

superman

Christina told me that whenever Audrey goes to the pool she recalls when I taught her how to do the "Superman." "Auntie HT taught me how to do this." It's just about the simplest thing you can do at the pool - push off the wall and stretch your arms out like you're flying a la the man with the "S" on his chest.

I was touched. Audrey was 4 and they still lived in Singapore. It was so long ago and I don't even really remember it, yet it has stayed with her. It's funny the things that stand out in our memories. I hope that moments from this past trip will stay with her as well. And I hope wonderful memories of me were created for little Marcus.

back to life, back to reality

It's a little before 7 am. I leave Melbourne to head home in a few short hours. It is so sad to leave because I've had such a wonderful time here. Spending time with Audrey and Marcus (my cousin's children) has been such a joy. My cousin Christina and her husband CK watched me and my brother grow up and I only wish that we lived closer and could do the same with their children. Maybe we can, in our own way - probably mostly via photos and skype.

Christina and CK have been so generous with everything. They opened up their home to us and made sure we saw sights and ate to our heart's content. Christina and I also had a lot of good conversations - I learned about family history, the trials she experienced in her life, and even details unbeknownst to me about my mom. She's the oldest granddaughter of my grandmother's grandchildren and I'm the youngest. There is a 15 year age difference, yet she is one of my closest cousins.

Audrey and Marcus are such great kids. Audrey is a brilliant girl on the cusp of adolescence. It's a trying time for all involved and I hope that I can provide some counsel for her. She is not only smart, but participates in tons of activities as well and she no doubt has a good head on her shoulders. Marcus is a ball of energy who is also loving and sweet. One night in the car he whispered to me, "You are my best friend. I love you." His little accent is adorable. Yesterday when we dropped him off at school, he had a bit of a tantrum and kept asking his mom for more hugs and kisses. He also asked if I could stay and be a helper. That would have been so cute - all those little Aussie babies.

I will have more reflections on all of this. Right now I just have that feeling of missing them all already. :(

Money Diary Abandoned...

So, I got a letter from the IRS that I owe $800+ for my 2007 taxes. Ick. I am not happy about that. With that, I am ending my money diaries right now.

I will find out whether I get the new position when I get back from Australia. Hopefully it'll be good news because I need some more money in my account.

Australia has been awesome. It's winter here, yet still so enjoyable. No wonder Aussies are such happy people!