three words

Three words scrawled on a sheet of paper awoke my consciousness of life and love.

My stepdad is in the hospital with pneumonia and some sort of lung infection. He has a precarious health situation as is, so this is a severe affliction. He has tubes down his throat and all sorts of IVs, machines, and things connected to him. He can't talk, but when he is awake he struggles to communicate with my mom. He asks her about me and my brother and about his condition and even about my bunny.

On this sheet of paper, I saw "Will I be able to walk?" and "Will I be able to talk?" It was jarring to see those questions. It must be something else all together to be the one asking them.

Also on this paper was "Will I live?"

The moment I saw those words, I was plunged into the wrenching depth of love and the potential pain of loss. I can only imagine how my mom reacted to those words when she saw them. My initial reaction would have been to cry uncontrollable heaving sobs, but on second thought I see how stupid that would have been. In this situation, my mom had to have pure optimism, which I'm confident she managed. I guess a part of love is having someone else's pain intertwined with your own and being strong enough to be their lifeline.