Coming up the escalator this morning, I saw a woman wearing a 2 foot wide puff on her head. I know it's cold, lady, but that hat is OUTRAGEOUS. I'm surprised everyone wasn't staring at her and it's not like she could tell if they were since she was under that puff. It was like she stuck a Coton de Tulear on her head and I'm NOT exaggerating. *sigh* You gotta love the things I see on my way to work.
Could I carry my camera around with me? Would people think I was rude? Ugh... the ethics.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
why straight men should only have one pair of shoes in each color
On my way to work this morning, I noticed a man with two similar shoes on his feet. Though they were both black and loafer-style, they were not a match. One had a really high base with an arch and the other was more flat. I thought that my eyes were deceiving me, but when we came to his metro stop, I observed him walking a bit lopsided.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
the disadvantage of youth
Typically, I don't mind being thought of as young. Call me cute, give me advice, that's all fine, however, being the rebel that I am, I HATE being told what to do, especially when I feel like the person doesn't have any place to do so.
So, there I am, sitting on the metro. As we pull into my stop, I say to the woman who is reading next to me, "This is my stop." I thought that was perfectly acceptable. I have never found it rude when people have said it to me. I think on the metro, "This is my stop" is understood to mean, "Could you please move aside, so that I may exit?"
Anyway, the woman slowly gathers up her things and says, "Ok. Say 'excuse me.'" I was stunned. I am not a child who needs to be taught her manners. Personally, I reserve "excuse me" for when I don't understand or approve of something (which may be accompanied by a bit of an attitude... which I might have used in response to the lady if I wasn't such a nice little, Asian girl) or when I want to ask a question to a stranger. The mere fact that I didn't say, "Move, B#$%@!" should have been enough.
Ok... I've vented. I'm going to let it go now. Release...
So, there I am, sitting on the metro. As we pull into my stop, I say to the woman who is reading next to me, "This is my stop." I thought that was perfectly acceptable. I have never found it rude when people have said it to me. I think on the metro, "This is my stop" is understood to mean, "Could you please move aside, so that I may exit?"
Anyway, the woman slowly gathers up her things and says, "Ok. Say 'excuse me.'" I was stunned. I am not a child who needs to be taught her manners. Personally, I reserve "excuse me" for when I don't understand or approve of something (which may be accompanied by a bit of an attitude... which I might have used in response to the lady if I wasn't such a nice little, Asian girl) or when I want to ask a question to a stranger. The mere fact that I didn't say, "Move, B#$%@!" should have been enough.
Ok... I've vented. I'm going to let it go now. Release...
Thursday, February 21, 2008
c'mon get happy
Do some people enjoy living in a perpetual state of disturbance? I feel like there are some people out there who create problems for themselves or refuse to take action to resolve their own problems. Perhaps on a subconscious level, they don't really want any obstacles removed from their path because their problems define their identities. If they aren't complaining then they don't know what else they would say. So, guess what I heard on the Secret yesterday? Some people are more comfortable with the certainty in suffering than in things getting better. I think I might have stopped listening after they said this because it was such an affirmation to my idea, so I don't know how these people can be helped. I'm guessing they should listen to the Secret. :)
Friday, February 15, 2008
highlights from the 25th year
I've been meaning to write a birthday blog because 25 was a really good year. Here is a list of the highlights in chronological order...
1. 25th Birthday w/ my BFFs
2. Bliss Spa in NYC
3. Clipse Concert
4. Up all Night in NYC
5. Broken English
6. Judy Blume @ ALA Conference
7. Trip to San Diego/LA
8. Getting fired from the ballet academy - Getting a job at the LOC
9. JWR
10. R. Kelly
11. Chris Brown - it was totally worth it the second time around :)
12. Lion King
1. 25th Birthday w/ my BFFs
2. Bliss Spa in NYC
3. Clipse Concert
4. Up all Night in NYC
5. Broken English
6. Judy Blume @ ALA Conference
7. Trip to San Diego/LA
8. Getting fired from the ballet academy - Getting a job at the LOC
9. JWR
10. R. Kelly
11. Chris Brown - it was totally worth it the second time around :)
12. Lion King
my ears deceive me
So, I work with this Austrian woman. She has an accent. Here is the conversation that took place when I got to my desk.
AW: I saw a death this morning.
ME: Oh really!? Where?
AW: Downstairs
ME: Outside?
AW: No, just downstairs
ME: Are you sure? How do you know?
AW: I know. I've seen her before. She had reddish-brown hair and was short with glasses.
At this point I realized that she didn't see a "death" this morning but she saw "Deb," a woman who is quite notorious for her irrational behavior.
Basically, what started out as a very interesting conversation ended in a fizzle. I am glad that no one died in the library though.
AW: I saw a death this morning.
ME: Oh really!? Where?
AW: Downstairs
ME: Outside?
AW: No, just downstairs
ME: Are you sure? How do you know?
AW: I know. I've seen her before. She had reddish-brown hair and was short with glasses.
At this point I realized that she didn't see a "death" this morning but she saw "Deb," a woman who is quite notorious for her irrational behavior.
Basically, what started out as a very interesting conversation ended in a fizzle. I am glad that no one died in the library though.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Happy Valentine's Day - my gift to the menfolk
PMS. You know your monthly visitor is on the way because your skin is not cooperating and you have mood swings like a manic-depressive. At least this is how it goes for me. The emotions are so frustrating because it really does have you thinking and acting like a crazy person. One minute I want to cry and then the next I'll be fine. I feel wholly apathetic about things that would typically be important (my relationship, for example) and then I become obsessed with my weight and appearance.
I never know what will irritate me. All of a sudden I am rude and will disengage. And you'll be wondering, is this really the same person who has a "no 'shut-up'" policy in her relationship and gets hugs from the mean lady at work? I feel like PMS apology letters have become a regular thing for me to write to my boyfriend (well, only once or twice). It's like apologizing for someone else. It wasn't me that called you annoying or refused to laugh at your jokes. It was a less-rational, less-sane person who resembles me on a bad-skin and bad-hair day.
Anyway, I'm writing this blog as a man's manual (Hi J!)on how to deal with me (and maybe some other women) when I'm (they're) PMS-ing.
1. Get me moving, physical activity is great to combat the thoughts of "I'm so fat." It might also help me take out some of my aggression... maybe you'd like to be my personal punching bag, because let's face it, my words hurt you more than any blow with my fists.
2. Turn on some of my favorite dance music. Don't force me to dance, especially if your moves aren't quite winning me over. I'll dance on my own when I'm ready.
3. Do something to help me relax - bath, massage, watching Hell Date, etc.
4. Tell me to call F or D. They are usually good at diffusing such situations. F will talk to me about bad television programs or her antics and D can tell me cute stories about her too-cute niece or the latest weirdo in her life.
5. Run an errand or do something nice and unexpected for me to show you care and that you don't just want to suck the life out of me (because the thought does cross my mind while I am in this state).
6. Have a delicious dessert (who am I kidding, just stock the entire kitchen with EVERYTHING) on hand in case all else fails because nothing is going to make any sense for about a week.
Now... the things NOT to do
1. Do NOT make any jokes that are rude in the slightest, even if I would normally laugh at them. I will not be amused and be forced to take it in the worst way possible.
2. Do NOT expect me to be my cute, happy, effervesent self, no matter what. You're only setting yourself up for disappointment and making me feel bad for being this way.
3. Do NOT mention any other female, unless she is dead or in your family.
4. Do NOT let me get away with being a bitch. Recognize the PMS. If you've followed all the rules and my behavior becomes unreasonable, then you need to let me know (nicely).
5. Do NOT take it personally... Monica was so right with that song. That is the PMS anthem.
So, there it is. You know how to deal with PMS now. Happy Valentine's Day to you!
I never know what will irritate me. All of a sudden I am rude and will disengage. And you'll be wondering, is this really the same person who has a "no 'shut-up'" policy in her relationship and gets hugs from the mean lady at work? I feel like PMS apology letters have become a regular thing for me to write to my boyfriend (well, only once or twice). It's like apologizing for someone else. It wasn't me that called you annoying or refused to laugh at your jokes. It was a less-rational, less-sane person who resembles me on a bad-skin and bad-hair day.
Anyway, I'm writing this blog as a man's manual (Hi J!)on how to deal with me (and maybe some other women) when I'm (they're) PMS-ing.
1. Get me moving, physical activity is great to combat the thoughts of "I'm so fat." It might also help me take out some of my aggression... maybe you'd like to be my personal punching bag, because let's face it, my words hurt you more than any blow with my fists.
2. Turn on some of my favorite dance music. Don't force me to dance, especially if your moves aren't quite winning me over. I'll dance on my own when I'm ready.
3. Do something to help me relax - bath, massage, watching Hell Date, etc.
4. Tell me to call F or D. They are usually good at diffusing such situations. F will talk to me about bad television programs or her antics and D can tell me cute stories about her too-cute niece or the latest weirdo in her life.
5. Run an errand or do something nice and unexpected for me to show you care and that you don't just want to suck the life out of me (because the thought does cross my mind while I am in this state).
6. Have a delicious dessert (who am I kidding, just stock the entire kitchen with EVERYTHING) on hand in case all else fails because nothing is going to make any sense for about a week.
Now... the things NOT to do
1. Do NOT make any jokes that are rude in the slightest, even if I would normally laugh at them. I will not be amused and be forced to take it in the worst way possible.
2. Do NOT expect me to be my cute, happy, effervesent self, no matter what. You're only setting yourself up for disappointment and making me feel bad for being this way.
3. Do NOT mention any other female, unless she is dead or in your family.
4. Do NOT let me get away with being a bitch. Recognize the PMS. If you've followed all the rules and my behavior becomes unreasonable, then you need to let me know (nicely).
5. Do NOT take it personally... Monica was so right with that song. That is the PMS anthem.
So, there it is. You know how to deal with PMS now. Happy Valentine's Day to you!
Monday, February 11, 2008
power struggles
We always talk about who wears the pants in the relationship. The ideal situation is for there to be a balance or even distribution of power. Unfortunately, this is not the case in all relationships. Roomie and I sought to determine the factors of power in romantic relationships. We came up with four factors that are all equally-weighted. A point is given to whichever individual holds the power in each given factor, and the one who gets the most points, holds the most power (we did give half points in situations which the factor in question was inconclusive). We even plugged in different couples that we know in order to test whether our theory held any weight. Now, this isn't exactly scientific method since we are only observers of relationships and do not know all the nitty-gritty details and power can and often does shift in the course of a relationship, but I think we did a pretty good job - see if you agree.
Factor 1: The Pursuer
The one doing the chasing has less power because they are first to open themselves up to be vulnerable. In their pursuit, they are giving the pursuited the option of whether or not to accept their affections.
Factor 2: Attractiveness
The one who is more attractive has more power because they are more appealing to the opposite sex and have greater potential to get another mate.
Factor 3: The Decisionmaker
The person who determines the course of a relationship has more power. The main decisionmaker can convince their mate that what they want is ultimately what is best for the relationship, even if the other person is unhappy with the decision. The unhappy party will succumb to the other party in order to keep the peace and their mate.
Factor 4: Need
In a healthy relationship, this factor eventually becomes very balanced as each person becomes more dependent on the other for sexual, emotional, financial fulfillment, so this is the factor that is least cut and dry. I think the question that has to be asked is, "who would be worse off if the relationship ended?"
Factor 1: The Pursuer
The one doing the chasing has less power because they are first to open themselves up to be vulnerable. In their pursuit, they are giving the pursuited the option of whether or not to accept their affections.
Factor 2: Attractiveness
The one who is more attractive has more power because they are more appealing to the opposite sex and have greater potential to get another mate.
Factor 3: The Decisionmaker
The person who determines the course of a relationship has more power. The main decisionmaker can convince their mate that what they want is ultimately what is best for the relationship, even if the other person is unhappy with the decision. The unhappy party will succumb to the other party in order to keep the peace and their mate.
Factor 4: Need
In a healthy relationship, this factor eventually becomes very balanced as each person becomes more dependent on the other for sexual, emotional, financial fulfillment, so this is the factor that is least cut and dry. I think the question that has to be asked is, "who would be worse off if the relationship ended?"
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
curiosity killed whatever animal that man's wig is made out of!
Why is it taboo to ask people certain questions? Why is there a bridge you must cross in order to reach the level of intimacy where it isn't rude to ask people "personal" questions? I think we would have everything figured out much quicker if we could just cut to the chase. And we wouldn't have all that small-talk BS that makes me cringe. There are questions that people are dying to ask but don't for fear of being rude or inconsiderate. So, essentially we don't want anyone to judge us for being so upfront.
Today, this guy at worked introduced himself to me. We were going to lunch at the same time so he cornered me on the elevator. He had sweat dripping all over his face, which he was wiping with his hand, therefore I did not want to shake his hand, but I did anyway. This guy has a serious limp. I think one leg must be a lot shorter than the other.
I was in and out of the cafeteria for fear that he would try to eat lunch with me. All his sweating made me uncomfortable and I wanted to wash my hands. While I was bolting to and from the cafeteria thoughts of the potential lunch conversation plagued me. I would want to ask him why he had a limp, but that wouldn't be right. I mean, am I not supposed to notice that he has a limp? Why can't I just ask him? Would he tell me about it if we had an in-depth conversation?
There's another guy at work who I only see in the mornings. He has no arms. If I were to have lunch with him, I'd want to ask him about that. Lunch with him would be really awkward too because when you eat, you have to use your hands. Does he eat with people? Do they help him? Was he born without arms?
Recently I've been encountering this man in the cafeteria that has the worst wig EVER. I would describe the color and texture as a mix between cotton candy and a meerkat. I can see his white sideburns, so how come he has a pinkish-tan wig? What's under there? Why doesn't he comb this wig? It's unreal. Nobody is fooled. Does he think it looks good on him? It's many steps below Barbie hair. I hope to get a picture one day.
I wonder if there are questions that people want to ask me but don't. The questionee has the right to reserve his/her privacy so if someone did ask me a question that was too "personal" I would just avoid it. I wouldn't judge them for their curiosity since I wouldn't want anyone to judge me for mine. So, ask away. I'd be happy to oblige (maybe).
Today, this guy at worked introduced himself to me. We were going to lunch at the same time so he cornered me on the elevator. He had sweat dripping all over his face, which he was wiping with his hand, therefore I did not want to shake his hand, but I did anyway. This guy has a serious limp. I think one leg must be a lot shorter than the other.
I was in and out of the cafeteria for fear that he would try to eat lunch with me. All his sweating made me uncomfortable and I wanted to wash my hands. While I was bolting to and from the cafeteria thoughts of the potential lunch conversation plagued me. I would want to ask him why he had a limp, but that wouldn't be right. I mean, am I not supposed to notice that he has a limp? Why can't I just ask him? Would he tell me about it if we had an in-depth conversation?
There's another guy at work who I only see in the mornings. He has no arms. If I were to have lunch with him, I'd want to ask him about that. Lunch with him would be really awkward too because when you eat, you have to use your hands. Does he eat with people? Do they help him? Was he born without arms?
Recently I've been encountering this man in the cafeteria that has the worst wig EVER. I would describe the color and texture as a mix between cotton candy and a meerkat. I can see his white sideburns, so how come he has a pinkish-tan wig? What's under there? Why doesn't he comb this wig? It's unreal. Nobody is fooled. Does he think it looks good on him? It's many steps below Barbie hair. I hope to get a picture one day.
I wonder if there are questions that people want to ask me but don't. The questionee has the right to reserve his/her privacy so if someone did ask me a question that was too "personal" I would just avoid it. I wouldn't judge them for their curiosity since I wouldn't want anyone to judge me for mine. So, ask away. I'd be happy to oblige (maybe).
Monday, February 04, 2008
bloggity blog blog
The blogs I most enjoy reading have not been updated so I thought I should update to perhaps inspire them (or give them a bit of a guilt trip for leaving me bored at work). I just created a new blog for book club. I think it will be fun to update about the new book we're reading, Snowflower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See and for people to post about the book we just finished reading, Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.
So, I had lunch with my brother this weekend and he was talking to me about blogging. He has started blogging, but not out of vanity (catharsis, self-reflection) or to keep people updated on his life, but out of greed! He's blogging for the money! He was telling me all about ads, and how if people click links on your blog, you make money. There was a word for that, started with a "b" - can't remember it now. He's made 35 cents so far. Apparently, people can make a living doing this stuff. He asked whether I was interested in doing this. "Do you have a niche?" he asked, "What do you blog about?"
Uh... stuff? Unfortunately, as amused as I am with myself, I need a niche in order to target an audience for ads and to generate traffic to my blog (and make the money). So, maybe my niche will be reading, since I just started that book blog - eh... reading isn't quite the hotness and what do you sell to readers besides books? I don't know. My brother said he'd get back to me in a month. Maybe by then he'll have made a whole dollar and maybe I'll have uncovered a different niche. Dating and relationships is supposedly huge... where can we go with that?
So, I had lunch with my brother this weekend and he was talking to me about blogging. He has started blogging, but not out of vanity (catharsis, self-reflection) or to keep people updated on his life, but out of greed! He's blogging for the money! He was telling me all about ads, and how if people click links on your blog, you make money. There was a word for that, started with a "b" - can't remember it now. He's made 35 cents so far. Apparently, people can make a living doing this stuff. He asked whether I was interested in doing this. "Do you have a niche?" he asked, "What do you blog about?"
Uh... stuff? Unfortunately, as amused as I am with myself, I need a niche in order to target an audience for ads and to generate traffic to my blog (and make the money). So, maybe my niche will be reading, since I just started that book blog - eh... reading isn't quite the hotness and what do you sell to readers besides books? I don't know. My brother said he'd get back to me in a month. Maybe by then he'll have made a whole dollar and maybe I'll have uncovered a different niche. Dating and relationships is supposedly huge... where can we go with that?
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
bad luck driving in DC
Well folks... remember that time not too long ago where I ran that redlight leaving the ballet academy. It came and got me today in the form of a $150 ticket. *sigh* Stupid, stupid, stupid. You know... it's not even about stupidity. I just have slow reflexes when it comes to driving. So slow. :(
Monday, January 28, 2008
boundaries
Early in life we get the impulse to push the envelope. I think around 18 months, children start to test their limits. They want to see how loud they have to scream before they get a response or how many times they can throw something on the floor for mom to pick up until it is taken away. Essentially, they are learning about cause and effect and about how much impact or control they have on their surrounding environment.
This type of exploration follows us throughout life. When I was 5, I asked my mom, "where the hell is Cathy (my cousin)?" I recieved a swift smack on the mouth. I didn't know that I had said anything inappropriate. I probably saw it on tv and just wanted to test out the new phrase, but I was also testing a boundary and trying to gauge my own status. Essentially, I was trying to determine whether I was grown-up enough to say that. Apparently not.
In a way, we're just trying to see what we can get away with. It's a behavioral challenge. Exhileration comes from being on the very edge and catching a glimpse of the other side, like playing with fire.
I like to tiptoe on the line sometimes. I guess with the people I love the most and who I think love me the most. Sometimes you just want to act out and even though you're not thinking, "I want to know the boundaries of your love for me," subconsciously that is your goal or perhaps you need that reassurance.
In relationships there aren't physical bounds that can be measured, however, the boundaries are still tested for similar reasons; to determine control and status. Who has more control of the relationship? What kind of status do I have in this relationship? How much does so and so love me?
I don't have any advice in dealing with this type of behavior if you're the one being tested (perhaps I will have it figured out once I have children or something). If it happens to you, it's your own judgement call. Different relationships will have different boundaries dependent on those involved. Everyone is constantly seeking boundaries. We want to see how far out we can go even though we don't want to go beyond that point because ultimately we always want someone there to pull us back and love us.
This type of exploration follows us throughout life. When I was 5, I asked my mom, "where the hell is Cathy (my cousin)?" I recieved a swift smack on the mouth. I didn't know that I had said anything inappropriate. I probably saw it on tv and just wanted to test out the new phrase, but I was also testing a boundary and trying to gauge my own status. Essentially, I was trying to determine whether I was grown-up enough to say that. Apparently not.
In a way, we're just trying to see what we can get away with. It's a behavioral challenge. Exhileration comes from being on the very edge and catching a glimpse of the other side, like playing with fire.
I like to tiptoe on the line sometimes. I guess with the people I love the most and who I think love me the most. Sometimes you just want to act out and even though you're not thinking, "I want to know the boundaries of your love for me," subconsciously that is your goal or perhaps you need that reassurance.
In relationships there aren't physical bounds that can be measured, however, the boundaries are still tested for similar reasons; to determine control and status. Who has more control of the relationship? What kind of status do I have in this relationship? How much does so and so love me?
I don't have any advice in dealing with this type of behavior if you're the one being tested (perhaps I will have it figured out once I have children or something). If it happens to you, it's your own judgement call. Different relationships will have different boundaries dependent on those involved. Everyone is constantly seeking boundaries. We want to see how far out we can go even though we don't want to go beyond that point because ultimately we always want someone there to pull us back and love us.
who's your daddy?
Last night, roomie and I were discussing dads. Somehow, we came to the conclusion that my dad is the most attractive of all my friends' dads. He has a full head of hair, no gut, and is in pretty good shape. He also has wonderfully defined facial bone structure. Who knew my dad was such a stud?
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
negotiating friendships through life changes
As our lives move beyond high school and college, the ties of friendship are tested. It is easy to maintain friendships with people in the same location, doing the same things at the same time, not to mention the abundance of free time we had or the ease in which we shirked responsibility. Different relationships require varying levels of nourishment. There are some friends that you see once or twice a year when it's convenient and you spend hours catching up. There are friends that you have all night chat and veg sessions with every some odd weeks. There are friends that you send 12 random texts to on those particularly curious days. There is quite a spectrum and one form of friendship sustenance is not better than the other. Without set guidelines, just how a friendship operates depends on the pair.
I value each of my friends for their individual personalities and for what they bring to my life. Unfortunately, I made a poor showing of this a few days ago to a friend that I have known since 4th grade. If I made each of my friends a body part, she would be the heart. She is sensitive and loving - traits that I lack at times. We hadn't hung out or really talked in almost two months and I think that put a bit of a chip on my shoulder about her importance in my life, which in turn may have led to my poor treatment of her. As someone has been telling me, I'm "such a girl." And well, yes I am. Us girls in our quarterlives are having breakdowns left and right over the littlest things. We're facing all these changes and venturing into a world unknown. Are we crying because we're scared? Are we crying about what we might be losing? Are we crying because we don't want to let go of our post-college glow? Friendships seem to wax and wane, unfortunately those cycles are not as easy to read as other cycles we deal with. Again, I'm a girl.
It's daunting. I'm saying and doing things I'd never thought I'd do or say and I'm wondering if I've lost a piece of who I am. I think a lot of my friends are feeling similar, yet we're not really sure what is at the heart of the matter. I find myself feeling so alone at times and although I'm content with it, something does feel amiss. In all the other stages of my life, I was knee-deep in commiseration with my friends - puberty, identity crises, teenage angst, the college years. I'm beginning to wonder what friendships will endure this current phase of my life and what role I play in keeping these friendships. What must I do? What must I accept or not accept? What makes a friendship worthwhile? It's almost something we take for granted now. And we are surrounded by so many other people and things that our nearest and dearest friends almost become a second thought. I've never been very good at reaching out, but if I want to keep the friends that I've got, I think it might be time to learn.
I value each of my friends for their individual personalities and for what they bring to my life. Unfortunately, I made a poor showing of this a few days ago to a friend that I have known since 4th grade. If I made each of my friends a body part, she would be the heart. She is sensitive and loving - traits that I lack at times. We hadn't hung out or really talked in almost two months and I think that put a bit of a chip on my shoulder about her importance in my life, which in turn may have led to my poor treatment of her. As someone has been telling me, I'm "such a girl." And well, yes I am. Us girls in our quarterlives are having breakdowns left and right over the littlest things. We're facing all these changes and venturing into a world unknown. Are we crying because we're scared? Are we crying about what we might be losing? Are we crying because we don't want to let go of our post-college glow? Friendships seem to wax and wane, unfortunately those cycles are not as easy to read as other cycles we deal with. Again, I'm a girl.
It's daunting. I'm saying and doing things I'd never thought I'd do or say and I'm wondering if I've lost a piece of who I am. I think a lot of my friends are feeling similar, yet we're not really sure what is at the heart of the matter. I find myself feeling so alone at times and although I'm content with it, something does feel amiss. In all the other stages of my life, I was knee-deep in commiseration with my friends - puberty, identity crises, teenage angst, the college years. I'm beginning to wonder what friendships will endure this current phase of my life and what role I play in keeping these friendships. What must I do? What must I accept or not accept? What makes a friendship worthwhile? It's almost something we take for granted now. And we are surrounded by so many other people and things that our nearest and dearest friends almost become a second thought. I've never been very good at reaching out, but if I want to keep the friends that I've got, I think it might be time to learn.
fight or flight?
I am a flighter, if that's even a word. One mis-step and I am about-face and gone, warp speed. I don't know how we develop these instincts or if we are born as one or the other. I think flighters are chickens. Yeah, I'm a chicken.
I have a lot of respect for fighters. I envy them because they have this zeal, this confidence going into any given situation. They stand up for what they believe in and they fight because their morals tell them they should even when some fights aren't worth the trouble. P is a fighter. Many times I've been willing to abandon friendships and relationships or anything for that matter, but she won't let them go so easily. Even when she knows that someone isn't worth fighting for, she still tries because that is her nature. She thinks that every relationship is worth salvaging. To her not fighting is failure in itself.
There was a time way back when that P and I may have stopped being friends entirely. It was during summer vacation from high school. She would call me every single morning and wake me up after I explicitly told her that I just wanted to sleep in. One morning, fed up, we had a little exchange of words and one of us hung up on the other. I can't seem to recall who hung up on whom, but she was the one to initiate our reconciliation. We had a very close mutual friend so we still had that shared connection. We never really drifted apart, we just didn't talk. After months of not talking, she mailed me a card. I still have that card and I think it saved our friendship.
There was a time recently when we had a heart to heart, and again, she showed me how important our friendship was even when I would have just as easily walked away and then come to miss her like crazy, but have too much pride to say so. I'm a big, fat chicken. It is just so hard to bring myself to care sometimes, as if my emotions take longer to catch up with the rest of me. I'm glad that there are people like P in my life. I have a lot to learn from them.
I have a lot of respect for fighters. I envy them because they have this zeal, this confidence going into any given situation. They stand up for what they believe in and they fight because their morals tell them they should even when some fights aren't worth the trouble. P is a fighter. Many times I've been willing to abandon friendships and relationships or anything for that matter, but she won't let them go so easily. Even when she knows that someone isn't worth fighting for, she still tries because that is her nature. She thinks that every relationship is worth salvaging. To her not fighting is failure in itself.
There was a time way back when that P and I may have stopped being friends entirely. It was during summer vacation from high school. She would call me every single morning and wake me up after I explicitly told her that I just wanted to sleep in. One morning, fed up, we had a little exchange of words and one of us hung up on the other. I can't seem to recall who hung up on whom, but she was the one to initiate our reconciliation. We had a very close mutual friend so we still had that shared connection. We never really drifted apart, we just didn't talk. After months of not talking, she mailed me a card. I still have that card and I think it saved our friendship.
There was a time recently when we had a heart to heart, and again, she showed me how important our friendship was even when I would have just as easily walked away and then come to miss her like crazy, but have too much pride to say so. I'm a big, fat chicken. It is just so hard to bring myself to care sometimes, as if my emotions take longer to catch up with the rest of me. I'm glad that there are people like P in my life. I have a lot to learn from them.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
six months
I've been working at the LOC for six months now. I only know vaguely what this whole operation is all about. Something about inventory, books, sending books to Ft. Meade... yeah. I inspect the trucks and then flag them for errors, if I find any. I don't really know what all the MARC records are. I don't even know the real difference between the holding record and the item record. And you probably know as much as I do about serials. You think I would have learned some of this by now. I guess I do a decent job at pretending like I know what I'm doing. I've never had to pretend in any of my previous jobs...
I don't know how much longer I'd like to keep up this charade. I've never had the same job for more than a year, so I'd like to set a personal record this time. Wish me luck... and also a raise.
I don't know how much longer I'd like to keep up this charade. I've never had the same job for more than a year, so I'd like to set a personal record this time. Wish me luck... and also a raise.
Monday, January 14, 2008
good thing...
the smoke detector is outside of my room. I almost burned our apartment down on our second night there. I lit a candle and then left to observe roomie with her breadmaker. I think we were in the living room chatting when all of a sudden... BEEP!
I went into my room and discovered my glass candle holder ablaze!
I managed to blow it out, but it was quite scary.
Well, at least we know the smoke detector works. And I've learned my lesson.
I went into my room and discovered my glass candle holder ablaze!
I managed to blow it out, but it was quite scary.
Well, at least we know the smoke detector works. And I've learned my lesson.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
"movin' on up..."
Or, moved, rather. This is our first night in our new apartment. We still have some cleaning to finish up in the old one - taking out trash, vacuuming. I'm going to miss good old 203. It was a cozy spot, but as we started our move, it became apparent that things were getting a bit cramped. We somehow accumulated tons of stuff in our time there and moving seemed like it would never end. Thank goodness we had some wonderful help. Those folks are the best. We had a shopping cart genius-cum-grocery advisor, my poor little brother, the ever-handy P, and then the egg-dropper turned couch-mover, who finished things off. My brother was quite the trooper. He was the first one here last night and then up early this morning to help us do most of the furniture. He's a great kid sometimes.
Roomie and I no longer share a bathroom, though getting used to such a teeny bathroom will take some time. Most everything else is bigger. I'm definitely making good use of the walk-in closet. Now I can confine my junk-monster tendencies (once I get more organized...). There is an impulse to fill empty space, but I'm resisting it. The thought of moving everything that I bring into this place is still entirely too fresh.
Yeah... so I guess this concludes my week. And what a week it was.
Roomie and I no longer share a bathroom, though getting used to such a teeny bathroom will take some time. Most everything else is bigger. I'm definitely making good use of the walk-in closet. Now I can confine my junk-monster tendencies (once I get more organized...). There is an impulse to fill empty space, but I'm resisting it. The thought of moving everything that I bring into this place is still entirely too fresh.
Yeah... so I guess this concludes my week. And what a week it was.
Friday, January 11, 2008
happy happy friday!
things that make me happy today
1. Hearing J's voice at 2am.
2. Hopping onto the Metro train just before the doors close
3. Wearing my rain boots (I'll post a picture, I think they would make you happy too)
4. Getting off work early
5. No longer being a bridesmaid!!!
1. Hearing J's voice at 2am.
2. Hopping onto the Metro train just before the doors close
3. Wearing my rain boots (I'll post a picture, I think they would make you happy too)
4. Getting off work early
5. No longer being a bridesmaid!!!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
busy busy
This has been such a busy week. All the days seem to run together. And it's not over yet. Tomorrow we sign our lease and start moving some of our stuff out of here. I hope that it goes smoothly.
I'm so tired but I feel like there is still unwinding that needs to be done. I think I can now definitely say I know what it's like to be a bridesmaid. All evening we had to get our picture taken and then while everyone was enjoying the show, we had to do all the behind-the-scenes stuff, so in other words, we did not get to watch the movie. I did get to play bride for about 5 minutes and toss the bouquet. That was really weird. I didn't get much air on the sucker, but I'll do better next time.
I had a lot of fun with the girls that I worked the promo with. We bonded. The experience brought us pretty close and we already have our reunion scheduled for next week when we get to go and watch a second free screening of the movie.
I'm glad that my bridesmaid duties are over. Perhaps in a few years I'll be ready to do it all over again. We'll see.
I'm so tired but I feel like there is still unwinding that needs to be done. I think I can now definitely say I know what it's like to be a bridesmaid. All evening we had to get our picture taken and then while everyone was enjoying the show, we had to do all the behind-the-scenes stuff, so in other words, we did not get to watch the movie. I did get to play bride for about 5 minutes and toss the bouquet. That was really weird. I didn't get much air on the sucker, but I'll do better next time.
I had a lot of fun with the girls that I worked the promo with. We bonded. The experience brought us pretty close and we already have our reunion scheduled for next week when we get to go and watch a second free screening of the movie.
I'm glad that my bridesmaid duties are over. Perhaps in a few years I'll be ready to do it all over again. We'll see.
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