lame a$$ kids

So, "Drop It Like Its Hot" came out about... oh... 2 years ago, right? Why are the kids 1) just listening to that song now 2) just learning what "ice creams" are...

I bet 90% of them haven't even heard the remix. Get it together! I don't consider myself on the cutting edge of entertainment by any means, but if I know something you don't know and you think you are hip, there is something extremely wrong.

too cool for school

There is a dry erase board with the names of the RAs on duty for the day on the door of the RA office. Apparently, the kids wrote by my name "too cool for the kids at school." Next to another RA's name they wrote "is cool like the kids at school." I'm glad I'm cooler than they are, though I guess it isn't hard to be.

Anyway, here I am at my weekly overnight shift as usual. The main difference today is that my visitor is sleeping on the couch in here as I type this! Her flight was cancelled because we're supposed to have some nasty weather in a little while - so she's catching the train at 3 am. Fascinating, eh? We're so resourceful over here.

Hmm... I am doing a promotion tomorrow where I am putting window clings on random surfaces on a college campus. I have to take pictures of my handiwork. Should be INteresting.

the art of being mean

A boy approached one of the girls when we were out at the movie theatre. I tried to firmly explain to this child that my kid didn't want to talk to him and he said "I want to hear it from her." She promptly told him that she didn't want to talk to him. He didn't take the hint and he still attempted to talk to her! And then he was like, "Is it because I'm black?" This was strange on so many levels. I know that race is something that a minority becomes aware of early in life, but for him to up and pull the race card! And on a girl he was trying to talk to?? Maybe I left out the part that he was not cute. He was a dumpy kid. Whack, really. You can't pull the race card because someone doesn't want to talk to you! Sheesh. He probably won't ever learn and he'll probably have a chip on his shoulder for the rest of his life and increasingly pullt he race card. Stupid.
Anyway, I gave the girls a good lesson in being direct and unfriendly. I think it will prove to be useful. Its definitely a talent that comes into play for me quite often. Is that horrible? Perhaps I need to make a Chinese New Year Resolution about this.

why am i not surprised?

People don't follow through around here. Everyone is just a bunch of talk. RAs make promises to kids only to leave other RAs with the obligation to take kids to certain places at certain times. The headmaster complains to the director of residence life about one of the RAs, but the RA gets to hear about it from another RA. The dean gets complaints from the students about an RA, talks to the headmaster and the director of residence life, but nobody talks to the RA. Everyone is inactive, things don't get done. They all just love to hear themselves talk. Don't ask me how I am when you're not going to listen to the answer. Don't engage me in a discussion only to cut me off.
I thought the dean was going to talk to me about the whole "please" incident, but no. *shrug* She probably realized what a pointless conversation that would have been. Y'know because I'm stubborn (though she probably doesn't know this b/c RAs are just slaves to her anyway) and there is nothing wrong with encouraging kids to be more polite. I hate how everyone wants to juice everyone else up around here. I work with a bunch of people that have nothing better to do than to talk about one another behind their backs and then act like best friends the rest of the time. I don't choose to associate myself with anyone like that. I know I can't trust them so that prevents me from even talking to them.

My life is so dull. I'm constantly just ranting about work. Something new... something good... something interesting...

oh... I really like my favorite kids' parents. They had a friendliness about them. They have good positive energy. Um...

I had my birthday dinner finally. Six of my closest friends had dinner with me and then five of them went out afterwards with me for more festivities. It was your average evening, but we so rarely all get together that its an event when we do. And, I got presents so that's always nice.

Its Chinese New Year. Yeah... I had dim sum with my brother and his gf this afternoon. I might try to go to the parade tomorrow if this overnight shift doesn't do too much damage. Ok... too many disjointed thoughts. I will continue to another blog.

i amaze myself

So, there is this kid who I don't really care for. She's bratty, spoiled, and simply not my cup of tea. Oddly enough, she is constantly calling me her buddy. In the past two weeks or so I have monitored her and her friends for late night snack saying stupid things like "This is NOT social hour. EAT!" or "Less chatting, more chewing." As serious as my tone is, nobody is buying it. *sigh* However, my cold persona has made her want to befriend me. I am amused by this. I always knew my aloofness would pay off, though being her friend is hardly one of my life objectives. I've even said to those fools that I am not their friend. Oh, the persistence of stupidity.

i amuse myself...

So, I've been playing four suit spider solitaire. I discovered it on one of my overnight shifts and easily beat the two suit version and STRUGGLED with the four suit. This battle has been going on for a couple weeks. Anyway... fast forward to THIS MOMENT in time! I BEAT IT! I love feeling so accomplished. Now for my next goal... eating all the Coldstone Creations. Yep. Mmhmm...

P.S. when you beat spider solitaire... a window pops up that says "Congratulations, you won! Do you want to start a new game?" And little colored circles shoot from the center in a weak attempt to mimic fireworks. Yeah... kinda sad. Oh well. :)

please?

Saturday 11:30 pm, RA Office
Ring Ring
Me: Residence Life
Kid: Can you open the kitchen door?
Me: Please?
Kid: Please
Me: Who is this?
Kid: maniupulative ingrate
Me: I'll be right down

Apparently, the manipulative ingrate took issue with this interaction that I had with her and took it upon herself to complain to the "Dean." So, now the "Dean" wants to talk to me. Suuuuper.

They expect us to do so much and there is always something new. I understand that my job has to change because the kids have different needs all the time, but for everyone in that f-ing place to expect me to be everything and do everything all at once is impossible.

I've never worked with such disgusting children - selfish, rude, lacking any social consciousness. They are spoiled brats and I am not at this job to cater to them. I am there to make sure they are safe and taken care of, not to jump at their every whim, especially if they don't have manners. I don't trust most of the kids there. Some of them can be so two-faced and manipulative, turning the things you say around and who knows? Perhaps trying to get your fired! There are some kids that I absolutely adore and I make the extra effort to show that I think about them and that I care about them, but I'm not even sure if that is truly appreciated. I feel like all my efforts are in vain. I am not sure what else to do.

a newer favorite

While I typed this title to this blog, the thought crossed my mind that I might be a fickle favorite holder. Hmm... is that wrong? Isn't it better that I have various favorites in this job? I can't count on my favorites to always be around for my amusement. Mini C.T. was my favorite for a couple weeks, but that's done now. My new favorite is a girl from Oregon. I don't know what it was about her that made me instantly like her. One night during bed check I heard that her ringtone was a Chris Brown song. I don't remember which one, but it was a song I liked. Then I later found out that she has a huge crush on Chris Brown. That's so cute. Points for her. She's allergic to wheat. Interesting stuff. Yep... these are the things that attract me to people.

ugly mood

I don't know why but being at work right now really irritates me. I don't even want to go upstairs to check on them because I am so disgusted by them right now. I don't know why I'm in such a bad mood all of a sudden. I was working on my Grad Assistantship Application and then I decided I just wanted everyone upstairs. I don't know why. Somehow I just got into a really ugly mood. And its not PMS so I have no explanation whatsoever. It might be better if I just blame it on that. Ha. Maybe I'm just tired. How am I going to last another 6 hours and THEN go to Alvin Ailey with them? Oh fudge.

i think i have the right

Where does it say in my FUCKING job description that I have to move a kids shit out of her room so that she can move out? I had to help her pack all her stuff out and THEN bring it all down the stairs. I am so irritated right now and no amount of thank yous would make me content with this situation. I mean, could I have said no and not done it? Should I have run down and asked for help even though I am completely capable of doing this task on my own? Is the wrath emanating from my body language incongruent with the request made upon me? What do these fucking people think?
I've done physical labor before, but I feel that I was always rewarded in some shape or form. I've painted the inside of a school and probably all I got out of it was some pizza, but it was something and I didn't feel like someone's bitch because everyone else had to do it too. This is not a volunteer position. Ugh. So irritated!!!

busy busy...

Today was a hectic day at work. Never a dull moment. I felt useful for a change. Right when I got in, I took someone to the doctor about a potential stress fracture in her right shin. When I got back, I find out that there is a DC water outage because they had to repair some pipes. So, I'm trying to print signs to post, all the while, I have to pee. *sigh* Then its time for dinner. I have my dinner, then a kid comes to me to inquire about arts and crafts. We have arts and crafts. We made valentines. Ok... this is getting lame.

The point of this entry is that I can't imagine being a single parent. I don't know how my mom did it for so many years. I was pulled in so many different directions tonight and though I felt like I made the most of my time and had genuine interactions with various students, I had a feeling of wanting to do so much more. One of my mentees had a particularly rough day. Her jeans were stolen and there have been a series of thefts recently. She had to hang around school until 8 o'clock (she's a commuter) and after I drop her off, she discovers that her wallet was stolen! I can't describe how badly I felt for her. I wanted so much to make it all better and make things right for her. This is an example of the affinity that I develop for kids and I realize that I play a very small role in their lives. I adore some of these children and I know this is only a fraction of what I will feel for my own children. I guess I'm getting some practice... good thing MY kids won't be brats though.

Mooooooo

"Milk Cows, Not Clones!"
I would like to proudly say that I did my share in demonstrating against the use of cloned animals for meat and other food products today. I have pictures on my camera and a cow costume in the trunk to prove it. On my way to the metro after the press conference and free ice cream (which I had two helpings of, thanks), I was STRUGGLING to get my costume off. I took off the head, but I still had the top and bottoms on, along with my hooves, which were frozen at this point. So, I'm walking around with bright pink udders at my crotch like an idiot but I manage to get there without too much bruising to my ego. When I'm heading into the metro a woman asks me why I have the cow costume on, so of course I tell her that I'm saving her from a future of tumor ridden meats and such because I'm quite the hero. Then I see these two girls staring at me! And they mooed! *sigh* Oh well, I have a nifty "Cloning is Bull" t-shirt and of course, the cow costume. If anyone is interested in a little more info on all this cloning business... go here -http://www.benjerry.com/features/cow_cloning/index.cfm
For pictures of me in a cow costume... you'll have to email me directly. I'd like to know when you're laughing at me.

best part of my day

The best part of my day is coming home and walking through the door of my apartment after work. I am not particularly content with my life being that way, but for the moment, I'll take it. Tonight, getting home at 11:20 pm, I got a parking space in the apartment lot versus the Giant parking lot, where I usually park. This made me very happy. *sigh* Perhaps, I'm easy to please. I've never been one of those people to take a mile once I get an inch. Where does that behavior come from - this nature to take advantage of what the privileges given to you? I don't like it. The kids are hugely manipulative and then they need to be checked and that isn't always pretty - since teenagers are often so moody. Ugh.

This is all. I haven't blogged in awhile so this was my attempt at some sort of update. My life is rather uneventful. *shrug*

hmm... mini C.T. doesn't have a belly button. I'll let you know if I find out anything more.

come pick me up

I hate how I keep having all these thoughts bubbling around in my head while I'm in bed, but here I am again.

I didn't get my license until I was 23. This means that all throughout high school, I was fortunate enough to have friends that enjoyed my company enough to go out of their way to hang out with me and constantly give me rides. I suppose I'm a little spoiled because of this. I have said this before and I will say it again, I have some of the most amazing friends and I'd like to think that its because I'm pretty incredible myself. Thank you. Thank you. :)

thoughts before bed

I don't know what triggered these thoughts, but in the tangled ball of yarn that I call my mind, I began thinking about how much I loved the afterschool center that I had hoped to work at in conjunction with the ballet academy. There was such a remarkable sense of community at this place and the children made you feel loved and in turn you loved them and in turn I loved that place. I went in there with reservations because I was nervous about how I would be received by this predominately black community. Going in there and seeing some of the people that were going to be my co-workers I was a little intimidated because I didn't think that I had a whole lot in common with them, but I realized that it didn't matter because we were united by the fact that we had those children in our hearts.

The ballet academy is not a place I love. I do not feel loved there and at times I don't even feel respected. It's not something I care to bring up because I feel like none of it can be fixed. I just have to make the most of the few good relationships I have there. The kids are intolerable at times, demanding, two-faced - honestly, plain ugly.

The middle schoolers are going through a disturbing phase in their lives - cliques. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with cliques, but in a school so small, making anyone feel like an outsider leaves them with no one. I definitely had my cliques, but I don't ever recall making people cry, or at least not intentionally. Why are girls this way? And how is it changed? I am not sure anything can be done, they just have to grow up, I guess.

How did I end up on this topic? I was originally thinking about how much I loved the Beacon House and now I'm thinking about how much I hate those kids. Ugh... Today was a nice day off. I really don't want to go back. *sigh* Just gotta make it through Friday so I can get some breathing room again.

update on the mini channing tatum

Mini C.T. has adjusted to life here, I think. He's made friends and there is less buzz around school about him being "weird." When I got to work today he was sitting in the RA office dressed in almost all green. Its his favorite color. We talked for a little bit and the conversation moved to music. I started talking about the Clipse and when he told me he didn't know who they were, we googled them online and I forced him to listen to various Clipse songs. Turns out he knew some of their songs, just not them. Mid-chat I had to go pick up another student from the metro, but I let Mini C.T. stay in the RA office on the condition that he only looked at Clipse related information. When I got back, he told me that he changed his myspace song to "Virginia." I'm proud. I made a Clipse fan. I think this made my day.

different

We are different people in different relationships. We express certain things to some people that we would not express to others and if two people in our lives compared notes on us, how many similarities would they find?

I remember in middle school I did some sort of personality survey thing with my group of friends. I don't know where those results are. I wonder what they said about me. I think only one of those girls has remained my friend.

Because we often present different faces to different people, how do we know when we are being our true selves?

I guess the most obvious answer is when we feel the most comfortable, but I know there are people out there who feel completely at ease playing the different characters in their repertoire. Hmm...

talk is cheap

My stream of consciousness is more like a web than a linear, logistical flow. I spend so much time in my head that I don't really have a lot of output because I think that I can sound very confusing to people that don't know me. This could be a reason why I hate small talk and unfamiliar social situations. I don't like wasting my time talking with people who I don't feel a connection with. I think I give everyone a fair shot, but if you're not really giving me a fair one... I'm out.

greige on the brain

My best friend's boyfriend is a "greige" - gray/beige. This is the word I now use to describe the bland, fade into the background people that I encounter. Typically, these people are white, but there are greiges of different ethnicities. My best friend's boyfriend is a greige of the white variety. He's an intelligent guy and he's seen and done things that would qualify as interesting, but there is a disconnect. He is introverted and though he makes jokes about it, he only seems to exist as an accessory, not a real person.

They've been dating for about a year and have been living together for a few months. He's a nice and dependable guy which is probably one of the main reasons he is a good boyfriend for my friend.

Ultimately, I guess what is most disappointing is that his friends are not going to contribute to our social circle because either he doesn't have any or they are greige as well.

what's the point?

I'm so tired that I am struggling to complete a coherent thought. Today was exhausting. Trips to 7-11, Whole Foods, the metro, and finally the last trip of the day, dropping off one of the students at his dorm. I am not sure why this took so much out of me. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep the night before or the fact that I didn't work out today therefore decreasing my overall energy level, or did I set myself up for disaster with the knowledge that I would be spending the night here? Oh... I guess other draining aspects of the day are an eating disorder, mean middle school children (more on this later? perhaps?), and the general disrespect of everyone else. OH! and the front desk man SNAPPED at me!!! YES, thumb and middle finger snap!!as if I were some sort of animal he was beckoning. I think that really got to me and simply broke my spirit. I told him several times that I didn't like it (since he barely speaks English) and then I told him why. He told me that I shouldn't take it that way, but it was extremely rude. *sigh* Am I finally done ranting? No, but if I think about it for much longer, I might lose it, so I won't. I'm still at work, though my shift is over. I'm staying here tonight in order to buy myself a few more minutes of sleep. I'll let you know tomorrow if it was actually worth it. The beds are horrendous. Last time I slept her I had visions of mattress pads taunting me in my dreams.

I will end this blog with some things that made me extremely happy today.
1. Zappos sent me an email saying they are mailing my shoes to my apartment and not to MATCH (I made the mistake of not checking the shipping address)Zappos is so prompt AND they have free s&h!
2. "What's Your Fantasy" by Ludacris (from my freshman year of college!) was on the radio
3. Snapfish has already completed my order that I placed this morning! How I love efficiency. *swoon*