My dad has mentioned to me a few times that my god-cousin, Allen, had a brain tumor. He would ask me if I had heard any word of whether Allen had passed away or not. Growing up, my mom, grandmother, brother and I would go to visit Allen's family in North Carolina a lot. I can remember spending short weekends there as well as entire summers.
Allen was some years older than me. He got married when I was in the 11th grade. That was the last time I saw him.
Today, I went over to my cousin Cathy's to pick up some pictures that my uncle had set aside for me. While I was over there, my uncle told me that Allen passed away two years ago. I didn't know how to respond, though I was already given some warning via my dad. I guess I knew it was a strong possibility. I just can't believe he died two years ago.
My mom has grown so distant from the people that she was once close to, which is probably why we didn't find out about Allen. My cousin, Christina, gave me some insight on that while I was in Australia. I guess it's a lot of cultural and "adult" stuff that I wouldn't understand or stuff that my mom doesn't think I would understand. Come to think of it, two years ago was also right around the time my step-dad passed away.
I guess sometimes we don't know how to reach out when our loved ones are what we need.
Allen's parents helped shape my childhood. I spent summers in their restaurant clearing tables, peeling potatoes, wrapping eggrolls, etc. They helped my family a lot through the whole messy divorce between my parents. I feel devastated that I was not there for them in their time of grief. I hate that we've lost touch with them, but I'm not sure how to get back in touch again.
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