the waiting game

I've been toying with this blog for about a month now. I know the feelings that spawned these thoughts, but I am not sure what my point was, so I just decided to put it out there. *shrug*


How long does it take to know whether you love someone? Then what?

Idealistically, it would be an instantaneous thing. Boy meets girl. They fall in love. Get married. Make babies. But even when it is love at first sight, you have to ponder how long before you act upon it because you don't want to jump the gun or scare the other person off. And then you have to ask yourself, what are you waiting for if you already know that someone is "the One". What kind of action are you expected to take?

We can all think of couples that seem like they're ready to seal the deal and we wonder why they haven't gotten married yet. Perhaps one of the people in the relationship is calling the shots and they aren't ready. Maybe they live together despite the lack of a formal commitment and are waiting for other things to fall in place, finances, divorces, I don't know... I guess we learned from a very early age that "First comes love, then comes marriage..." but it's not that easy anymore. Now there are way too many options and other factors.

And then there's the whole other side of waiting for the next step - getting to know each other versus jumping into a relationship, not rushing, living together, etc. Everyone really operates by a different set of rules, timelines, and expectations. At this point, I think we've talked relationships into the ground, yet somehow the dynamic of relationships remains an ever-present topic of conversation. Even though every relationship is so unique, people are forever judging. I think one of the purposes of this blog was to attempt to figure out why, but I haven't found the answer yet.

Oh wait, I have other questions.

So, how much time do you give someone? If you think you're in love with them and they're in love with you, could you wait forever? Is that fair? I've done more than my fair share of waiting and often it was unclear what I was waiting for. Maybe sometimes it was waiting for someone to mess up or for someone to open up (including myself). I never waited idly, I tried to keep an open heart and an open mind constantly working towards some sort of goal (closing the achievement gap, world peace, finding a cure for breast cancer, etc.). Yeah, so I've had lots of practice in the waiting game. I started early (but that's another story). I'm actually on a wait currently, but this time with a much clearer vision ahead.