racial rejects

So, last weekend when Effie was visiting, she mentioned that she is a racial reject. Eureka!! Me too! We never really defined the term, so here is my attempt. A Racial Reject is someone who is not seen as _______ (fill in blank with the reject's racial group) enough for their cultural cohorts. I don't think white people can be RRs because they are in such a majority that they have plenty of subsets to choose from and other cultures who will accept them as the token white person in their group (or they could simply adopt aspects of a culture - music, food, language, etc.). No one will fault a white person for being interested in another culture as long as they aren't making a mockery of it, whereas anyone else's racial group will quickly spot a RR.

I was at dinner once with a bunch of my brother's friends and friends of friends. There was a kid there that didn't know me or my brother. Roomie and I ended up giving him a ride home and on the way, his impressions of me and my brother came out. Based on appearance, my brother looks a lot more "Asian" (ahem, fobbish) than I do. No one would spot my brother as a RR. However, my brother can not understand or speak any Chinese. The kid then said that I looked like I didn't speak Chinese. The kid had me pegged for an RR solely based on my appearance.

Knowing a language or any of the cultural norms is not what makes you part of your racial group. It is greatly dependant on appearance and your general life perspective.

I have made mention before about my lack of appeal towards Asian men. I'm missing Asian energy apparently. And I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I have a very non-traditional Asian household. My parents came from two different countries, met in America, rushed into marriage, had kids and then a messy divorce. My uber-traditional dad did not have a major role in my childhood and my mom ended up marrying a black man.

I was fortunate to grow up in a place where I was surrounded by different races and could always find at least one person who looked similar to me. Early on, I gravitated towards those people, but I wasn't exclusive. In middle school, I had my little Asian clique, which was mainly exclusive. That fell to the wayside in high school, though I still had a few Asian friends. In college, I remember thinking that all the Asian kids travelled around in huge packs wearing black and I didn't want to be a part of that. There was one Chinese girl who I befriended for a short while, but then I realized she was shady.

I think for a lot of Asian people (at least on the East Coast), going to college was the first time that there were pockets of Asians for them to befriend, so they immerse themselves into it. I had that exposure early on and didn't really feel as if I fit in that well. My Chinese speaking skills weren't very sharp and they seemed a lot more materialistic than me. I think in the back of my mind I knew that there were certain expectations that I couldn't live up to and also some that of which I was not aware.

No one wants to quantify their _______-ness. I think in Black culture, they are a lot harder on their RRs. Asian RRs don't have to confront that as often because there aren't as many Asian people around. There are also cultural differences. Black people will give looks and make comments about RRs, whereas Asian people will just avoid or ignore them. I'm not sure how one becomes a RR. Environment, interests, experiences?

A distinction needs to be made between RRs and people that have openly rejected their race (for example, the black person in the white greek organization). They have motives, unlike the RR. They might feel some sort of shame against their culture or perhaps they are trying to feel special in the sea of whiteness.

I think we have to have some sort of sympathy for the RR. We don't mean to defy the expectations, we just can't bring ourselves to succumb to them and not be who we are. It's an internal struggle. I mean, isn't it hard enough not to fit in? Can we fault the RR for being who they are? It's just not fair. I'm going to start a club. More to come later, hopefully.