realization

I think it's finally hitting me that my roommate is leaving the country. It's a new phase in her life and the part that was ours is ending. Our living arrangement has been the longest commitment (of any sort) that I've kept in the past decade - two months shy of two years. I guess this summer has weaned us off each other a bit because she was never home and I took up brief residence at the 4H. I'm just now settling back into my normal life of seeing friends and having time to do the things I want to do and I guess catching up with my thoughts and emotions.

I've been telling myself and others that she's moving to Paris, but I am only now feeling the sadness in it, the sadness in her leaving. It's by no means an end to our friendship, but one has to admit that something is lost when proximity is no longer a binding element. I know life as I knew it at 8107 had to end eventually, but I didn't think it would be this hard to swallow.

When I left San Diego, it wasn't difficult to come home. I knew that I would see A and that I would always be able to talk to F. I think after San Diego, i was just ready to be home close to my friends and family and to indulge in things that adults should have, like... their own bedroom (I had to share in both Boston and San Diego) and perhaps a job that actually paid versus living off a stipend.

I'm going to miss having roomie around to vent to or to share life's tidbits - you know, those ridiculously minute details that strike you as absurd or funny that no one else would care about if they weren't fully integrated into your daily life. Things just won't be the same, but I guess there is no adventure in that. Looks like it's time to start planning a trip to Paris!